This morning one of my daughters asked me to buy more cereal.
I said, we have cereal. Dad got this cereal at Sam's club and paid $2 dollars less for it because it was crumpled. The store had to reduce the price because some people would not buy crumpled cereal.
Well, I want to eat different cereal, I am tired of Cheerios. Pay day is Thursday, we need to eeek out what we have until then.
"Mom, why do we live pay check to pay check???"
Sigh.
I let that question enter me like a bullet, and for a moment I felt like a complete failure.
"We don't always live pay check to pay check, and we have food in this house, plenty of food, just not food you want right now."
"Its cold in here, why don't you turn up the heat, its because we can't afford it right? We live pay check to pay check. You just said we have to eeeek everything out until Thursday!"
Sigh.
My kids have heard this multiple times that is the "wrong" way to live. They have heard of stories of money falling from heaven, and think its going to land in our house. They want the heat on 70 all the time. They have heard the word "budget" like it is synonomus with scripture reading. That it is a "sin" to use a charge card.
Well, let me tell you something.
Back when Kristen was 2 and I was 9 mos. prego with Elizabeth, we spent maybe $80 a week on groceries, maybe
Heating oil was 88 cents a gallon! we used 100 gallons a month for $88 dollars and I did keep the heat on 70, all the time.
Our rent was $350 a month in the house we were living, a year later, we owner financed said house for 32,000 which then turned our mortgage payment into $329.08 for 12 years.
lights, gas, electricity. all much less that we pay today.
Of course, we were living on 21,000 at that time. We paid maybe $20 a paycheck for health insurance. And we had a lovely benefactor named Bill who felt led to send us money each month to pick up the gaps. We cannot thank Bill enough, ever. And others who felt led to donate to our household in need.
Fast forward to 2013.
5 people living in a house. Just our electric bill alone is $150 to $200. We are in over $1000 in heating costs this season, and the tank is below 1/4 full as I write this blog. Our food bill rivals our mortgage,which including taxes and insurances is almost triple what we paid in Howland. But, when we bought this house, we had our 20% down, and Carl was making less than he does now, 10 years later.
Why does it feel like we make less?
The costs of life have quadrupled at a rapid pace. And not just for us, for everyone.
And then along came this little blessing named Daniel about 3 and 1/2 years ago, which brought me home once again.
When I hear how wrong it is to live pay check to pay check I want to scream.
I want to scream because it is saying to me, well, you know you can't afford to be a homemaker, so why try, because you are wrong to live pay check to pay check. You are wrong to use a credit card, so put that baby in daycare and don't look back. You are wrong to ask your kids to eeek out the cereal until Thursday, because you are living pay check to pay check.
Well, I gotta tell you, we have always lived this way.
Always. We have never had a big savings account, ever.
But we have always had enough.
We have never driven a brand new car, ever.
But our kids don't even know life without their mother.
We did not have a bank loan on a house until our Bangor home, because we did not make enough money to get a bank loan.
And when I did work, it was in a school, on their schedule or less, and they did not miss me because they were at school while I worked.
We have always had debt, because we had to pay for life all on our own.
I can't tell you how many (most) of our friends who had parents who helped them out with college. Or a down payment for a house, or co-signed on a loan for a car, or paid their medical bills like teeth while in college. Or gave them a place to live when they were struggling. I had a tooth pulled because I could not afford a root canal, and yes, that went on a credit card. I had college loans to pay and so did Carl.
But guess what? we paid them.
We will be debt free completely eventually, because we do pay all our bills every month, and man, there are a lot of them.
I am not asking for an offering, really. or sympathy of any kind whatsoever.
But here's the deal.
If you are reading this, and you have made the statement before that it is wrong to live pay check to pay check. Could you reconsider that there are actually responsible, working people, who are not only taking care of a boat load of bills, medical included, giving to their church whenever possible, and donating oodles of volunteer hours to a variety of organizations, and trying to live on one income to the best of their ability?
Just give it a wee bit of consideration.
Because it makes a hard case for the woman who wants to be at home, knows what it is like to live on one income, and knows it takes a leap of major faith at times.
I happen to find it rewarding, this life of homemaker. I have had many many many jobs. I have an education. I have used my degree. Now I am using it in different ways.
Thanks for reading and considering a different way of looking at things.
Love, as always,
from my Nest to Your.
Julie
