Yesterday was a good day. May 20, 1989 is our wedding date. Our anniversary was shared with others, as our life seems to be deemed to do so. We have spent a better part of our life together sharing ourselves with others. For a season, in our early dating years, it was "all about us" but it became rapidly apparent that is not how it was going to continue.
The sharing did not always include other people, as yesterday did, it included thoughts, hurts, demons, emotions, conversations, cracks in each of us that only the other could fill in with being present, woundings that ran deep that needed sharing, mending, and healing.
Our external lives have been shared openly and fully. Sometimes willingly, sometimes not so willingly. Sometimes shared soberly, sometimes in such a carefree style there is no way to remember every detail.
But we've shared.
We will continue to share ourselves with others.
We both awoke remembering that something we shared will bond us for eternity. A date. A ceremony. A moment in time. A marriage.
May 20, 1989.
What we have chosen to do with that sharing of two people has been up to us. We have chosen to share this time and space and place with others.
Yesterday we awoke. Me, very early, Carl, somewhat early. We had our nightly visitor. Sharing our 5 a.m. space. Fortunately we had gone to bed early, but still, that 5 a.m. wake up though...
We shared our morning with our son. Dad and son went yard sale hopping. My Mom called me and wanted to go out for lunch. She arrived with an anniversary card that she had Carl and I open in front of her. It was sweet. My Dad arrived from PA in the later afternoon. He wanted to come and visit. My daughter and her two friends came to the house to hang out. Lots of people to share time with.
Finally, we left the house...Just Us.
We ate Italian. We watched all the prom goers. Carl was too stuffed for dessert. We decided to give our bedroom a face lift and get new bedding, curtains, and some throw pillows. (Okay, lets be honest, that was my idea, he went along with it...which of us really cares about a yellow accent pillow? He humored me as we walked around a store looking for yellow pillows.) We decided to go to the waterfront and take a walk. We saw a seal in the water....that was cool. Carl took a selfie of us. We came home to an empty house. Yeah to no sharing for a while.
Sharing all the time with others can become exhausting. So much goes out to others, not enough to each other.
We talked of love, disappointments, and laughed about our crazy life. He laughed at me about something I said. I can't remember. I laughed at something he said. I can't remember what it was. It doesn't matter.
We've shared a long season together. When I think about every thing we have been through together, all that living, all that sharing, all that time, all those people. All that loving, giving, helping, serving, including, accepting, being there. We've done it together. We have shared together, with others. And in doing so, its created a history. A Story.
Its been a risky experiment...all this sharing.
But, guess what? As we talked we realized...
We will never regret sharing, ever.
We will never regret all the loving of each other or others...ever.
We will never regret opening our home and hearts, being available, or spending time, money, emotions, on others, ever.
Carl and I share ourselves
Every
Single
Day.
Its what we've been called to do.
We've shared with each other so we can give away ourselves to others.
And, as far as I'm concerned? All this sharing is beneficial. To All Of Us.
I think this might have been one of the best anniversaries to date.
I love you Carl Joseph.
I am glad you shared yourself with me.
Love, Julie
