I would like to tell you a different story in 3 weeks.....post 103

Hello there. My resolve to write two times a week since the ending of my 100 day writing challenge has gone debunk. I have had ideas, but I have not written them out here. The daily writing habit really is quite wonderful because it makes it so that you HAVE to write, therefor producing a work to read. I will share with you one of my ideas that has been brewing for a week.

Last weekend I was having a conversation with a dear person. She said to me, "I would love to be telling you a different story in three weeks, but it seems as if my life is on replay of the same negative situation. I want it to be different, but I just don't see an end in sight." I concurred with her that I felt the same way. I want a different story. In 3 weeks. You know, that should be enough time for a completely different life, right?

When I got off the phone I began to ponder several things. First being, in 3 weeks from that time of discussion would be my birthday. I will be 49 years old. I am entering my 50th year of life on this earth. Its also Easter, the historic holiday of New Birth, whether you are celebrating springtime and bunnies or the Resurrection or both.

What happens when you are old, like me? You ponder, think, dissect life into pieces, rework, replay, regurgitate moments with fervor, wishing for more chances to do things differently, hoping for conversations, and, in general, rethinking EVERYTHING. And I Mean EVERYTHING>>>>> as far back as you can remember, which, according to most recent picture posts from my teen years, I am wondering if I was photoshopped into some of the pictures because I have no memory of being there, with that hair, or with those WHITE pants on...

I want a different story in 3 weeks...

Why?

Because I don't have any time to waste.

As you age you realize how quickly life passes. When I was 19 I thought about nothing. I got upset about everything. I had loads of time to waste. I was young, I was trying to figure things out, I thought I knew it all already, so there was no talking to me. I had time to argue, I had energy to argue, fuss, fight, have high expectations of everyone around me. Time to waste.

I am entering my 50th year. I have no more time to waste.

I don't have time to judge others. I don't have time to be right. I don't have time to hate. I don't have the energy to hate, actually. I don't have time for gossip. I don't have time to critique others' lives. I don't have time to waste. My days are numbered. They always have been, but it seems more ominous now that I have entered the latter years.

What do I want included in my new "Story" in 3 weeks?

I want to be surprised. I want to be loved. I want to hear laughter in my house. I want sunshine in my pocket. I want to see God in tangible ways that I will relate to. I want to be forgiven. I want to forgive. I want to be happy. I want a re-birth of hope, joy, love, unity, relationships, and honesty in my life.

I don't want to waste any more time.

Its too precious to me now.

I want my story to be different in 3 weeks. Any maybe not because my outward situation has changed, I would love that in some ways, but that my Inward Situation has changed. My inward focus to be focused on how to make time count.

The most important way I know to make time count is to
Love,
Be Loved,
Matter,
and Make Beautiful Choices....
(thank you mentor and dearest friend, Bill Cumming....your words always take root with me)

Loving is never a waste of time.
People are never a waste of time.
Making a beautiful life is a good use of time.

I love you all.

Julie Erb Robbins