I am loving these year end reviews and such on facebook.
I seriously don't even want to look at mine.
I have not recovered yet.
Why? You ask. Oh man. Just trust me.
My year started with a bang of sorts. We knew of some upcoming potential neptuals, but not sure when or where. We knew of an upcoming graduation, and acceptance of college, but not sure of the funding. We knew our second gal was still recovering from her surgery, 6 months prior, and school was difficult for her. And this is only the tip of the iceburg, of which I simply can't remember it all. I am funny that way. I think its because I live and love so in the moment, that I simply move to the next moment, so into that moment, not hanging on the the moments that may have happened last week, or last month. Life is Never Dull.
February. Booked Moose Point State Park for July 11, 2014. Yes, officially before the proposal, but hey, we figured either way, we'd throw a party that day, for simply any reason.
March. Proposal of Lucas to Kristen at the Rock Church in Bangor. She was officially surprised. We had invite people to the service because we knew when he was going to propose. Its on UTube if your interested in watching it. Adorbs. And I cried once I got to church. I thought, no one talk to me, I can't breathe. I remember being sooooooooooo crazy nervous. I remember thinking how am I going to get through and plan a wedding when I can't even breathe during the proposal?
Fire storm of planning, contacting locals first, but then ending up doing most of shopping with wedding on line from Sams Club. Amazing flowers, cakes, food, fresh produce, freshly ordered salmon, beef, simply everything. Was amazing!
I made flower containers, played for hours with glitter, glue, glass, and fabric. All for decor for my daughters bridal and wedding. I scanned prices for EVERYTHING. Found the best deals for EVERYTHING. This took hours and hours and hours. HOURS. I was on screech.
April. Last Family of 5 Vacation to Myrtle Beach. Bitter Sweet. We relished the moments together right down to the Krispy Kremes! :)
May. Celebrating 25 years of Marriage on May 20th. I am thinking we still need a big party. Yup, it will happen. A year later, but its happening, baby. 25 years is pretty dang amazing in any day and age. I am very proud of this. My husband is one amazing guy. We have grown into amazing partners. Have we got some stories, but thankfully, God got in the middle of our crazy, and here we are, liking and loving each other all these years later.
Did I also mention I planned a spa day(April) for the bridal party in my own home in which my lovely hairdresser came, we made beaded bracelet, had a foot spa, chocolate covered strawberries, (all made by me, no hiring out here!) had our hands made smooth, as well as our lips? YUP. This Mary Kay lady's got it going on. Did I also mention I threw her a first class bridal shower?(May) YUP. With everything personal I could think up to make it special for my girl.
Lets also not forget she was graduating, with honors. Of course we celebrated with a Grad Party.(June) In all Bangor Red and White with all kinds of memories decorating the house. And Prom.(June) Yes, she and her Love went to Prom. She went to his senior prom last year, so of course, Her Love took her to Senior Prom. Ending their absolutely fabulous night watching the sunset on top of Cadillac Mt, then to Jordan Pond House for Breakfast. oh yes, they did it up nice!
The middle of June saw Elizabeth flying on a plane for the first time to Kansas City to participate as a National level debater. Now, normally, I would go into panic mode because #1 my daughter was going to Kansas City for a week with 2 chaperones I had no knowledge of, #2 the debate trip was costing $1400, yet to be raised by Elizabeth, but hoping, praying, working, the whole summer to make this happen(and she did, by the way!) #3 she was flying on a plane with other teenagers and they were all staying in a hotel together. But I was not worried one little bit. You know why? Because I was thinking of other things. I was thinking of what was about to happen in a few short weeks in July. Not sure what will happen this year, I guess this year I will have to decide not to panic when she flies off again. So proud of this girl. She is a force to be reckoned with and no one is going to mess with her anyway. Trust Me, they don't want to. ;)
July 11, 2014. The Big Day. The wedding. Beautiful, Wonderful, Gorgeous Day for a wedding. I can never share my gratitude enough for the people who made this day possible. From Pastor Kirk, who did an outstanding wedding ceremony that was truly meaningful, to all those who brought food, who helped decorate, THE FLOWERS, thank you is not enough to Carol Murphy and Kay Hunt and Caitlin Cammack, for supporting Mom and Gram and helping in any way possible. I actually made a list of all who participated and made this day happen and I was up to at least 20 people. I am thinking a yearly party is going to be in order. How's about July 11, 2015??????
My dear husband worked all summer teaching to try and offset our lovely events, because, life does cost money. He did not get to have the fun I did, going to the beach several times a week. I appreciate so much all his efforts. He truly is a hard working man.
September found us all in school and Mom with some free time. ( haha) Kristen is at UMaine in the nursing program. First semester down with currently she believers a 3.3 GPA. Lucas is in the top of his class at EMCC, graduating this year, but going on to continue his education. Carl is teaching math at Bangor, and has added a new program to his load, and coaching, and tutoring. The man is the energizer bunny. I'm amazed all the time. Daniel began going to preschool at UMaine Child Study Center. LOVE IT!! 2 mornings a week. And I found myself back doing what I love doing, hosting a womens life group Bible study in my home 1x a week. Amongst being the taxi cab driver for the family.
And simply because I did not have enough to do, I wanted a puppy. And that brings us to November. I had some very close, dear, and wise friends say, WHAT???? are you crazy??? Yes, those words. I am now training a puppy and a 4 year old. Yup, I am a SPECIAL kind of crazy. SPECIAL.
December brings me to the end of 2014. Many changes have occurred in 2014. To say I have been stretched would be an understatement. I simply cried off and on for the first 6 weeks after Kristen's departure. I could not go into her room. I could not clean out her room. I could not look at her art that was left behind. And mind you, she was just down the road. And we see them. ALL THE TIME. (and I am not complaining!) But, she was gone. Gone, grown up, making grown up decisions I no longer get a vote about, sleeping somewhere else, never to wake up in my house again. (unless, they loose power, and its a snow storm, dang it, I WANT another snow storm! ;) ). And then my baby boy, growing up as he should, going off to preschool. And Elizabeth, she's a windstorm, firestorm, force to be reckoned with daily. Always praying for her, and Kristen, and Lucas, and Daniel, and the husband.
And I am learning how to be a parent of adult children. Some of you gals reading this are praying for the day that your kids brush their own teeth. But, parenting older children, WOW. Now that's hard. I have a certain recent friend who has gone through the similar phase I am going through, and she has younger children as well as grown girls. She has no idea how much she has encouraged me when we have been able to talk on Sundays. I walk away thinking, thank you so much, that word of encouragement, reminding that God is turning our daughters into who they are meant to be, and we get to watch and learn and encourage others. wow. soooo good. I am learning.
There was a recent quote on facebook. Something like this. "Lord help me to speak with wisdom, and to know when to be done speaking". This is one of my desires of 2015. Truly. I believe I am learning already. Of course, it helps when they warn you that, thank you, but you have said enough.
(Part of Adult Parenting 101. I shall be teaching a class next fall. Any joiners? )
2015 will find this gal praying, reading, trusting, speaking, and being silent. Being still. Being useful. Being supportive. Being Faithful.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.
Love, from my nest to yours.
Julie-Wife-Mom-Friend-Faithfilled and Devoted.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Keeping My Sanity
You may think that people with a ready laugh and smile are easy going, don't have many troubles, are laid back, and in general, simply right with the world. I have a secret. I am all of those things, and none of those things, on any given day. I came to the conclusion on one of my many "wandering nights" that simply leaving my circumstances was not enough to make me feel better. I started to question everything. My faith, my marriage, my kids, my church, my friends. Why was I feeling so overwhelmed, sad, dissatisfied. There began my journey of discovering what keeping my sanity really looked like, so that I would not travel into the abyss of feeling sorry for myself.
My Sanity Journey looks like this.
There are certain threads through out this tapestry that are constant. One such Thread was added to my quilt called Julie, when I decided at the ripe age of 29 to investigate the Bible. Kristen was 1yr., and the church we attended had a Tuesday morning Bible study called Women of the Word. It was a video teaching series, with a heavy load of homework/Bible study, but I was ready, and I joined. This began a journey I have continued, now hosting Bible studies in my home, having met many many wonderful women. Love My Bible Studies. Saved my life.
Going to Church saved my life and my marriage. If you are struggling in your marriage, go to church. And don't go to church looking for perfect people, go to church looking for God, and it will take the focus off you and put it somewhere else. Can't tell you how many times I needed that to happen to keep my sanity for one more day.
My friends from Lamaze class kept my sanity. Beth, Aleyne, and Sue. All of which I am still friends with to this very day. Those Fridays at McDonalds play place kept me sane. Being with women of like mind, meaning, the liked their kids but acknowledged the struggle, yup, those women saved my life. Just knowing I could get together with them regularly, to talk, to drink coffee while our kids ran pell mell through McDonalds, and knowing we shared an underlying faith, even though it all looked different for each of us, worked. Love these gals.
Through out my journey to maintain my sanity, the seasons have changed, the needs have changed in our family, and I have had to change. What I value now, as opposed to what I valued 20 years ago may seem a bit different, but I have kept what works, using the wisdom God has grown in me to differentiate what is working and what simply was not anymore.
Having a Mary Kay business in the middle of nowhere. Best Job I Ever Had. Got me out of the house, caused me to spend some time on ME, (ie: showering, fixing my hair, putting on make up and some nice clothes, its okay to do that ladies, and still be called, Mom as your main role! for real!) and forced me into leaving my small world on 15 Third Street and getting to know others in the community. I learned all the social skills I would ever need for life in that one experience. God First, Family Second, Career Third. I challenge anyone that finds a home based business that has been around as long as Mary Kay who has always held these values. Having a home spa day with just my girls, or their friends, ahhhhhhhh keeping my sanity.
I made the choice to homeschool. Lasted 2 years at it. At first, I was all agog with it. I am a natural saleswoman. I can sell ANYTHING I am currently into, and make you want to do it to! I had a lot of steam when I started, oh man, it was obnoxious. I made some wonderful friends, joined a Friday group, that was wonderful, but it was the Monday thru Thursday that was killing me. I won't go into all the details, but suffice to say, my husband came home many a day and said, Just Put Them On The Bus, Julie. So, I put them on the bus one day, cried for 6 months every day when I left them at school, but I kept my sanity, and all was well(not perfect, but WELL) and that folks, was worth it to me to keep me sane.
I don't like clutter and messes, but, guess what, when you have a house full of people, and all their stuff, you have a mess times 10. I had to let go of thinking I needed order and cleanliness for my sanity, because if I did not, I would be mad all the time at everyone. I am the only one who cares. I have tried talking, threatening, loss of privleges, family meetings, blah blah blah. I don't need any more suggestions on how to get others to cooperate, I simply needed to lower my standards. No more perfection. I clean what I can, when I can. I love having people in my home, a real motivator to pick up and throw out stuff.
I love to decorate. A sanity keeper for me. I love to find deals at TJMaxx and decorate my home with them. I tried pintrest stuff, but I have a circle foam thing in my home 1/2 covered with orange yarn hoping to turn into something one day, but, ain't happening. Getting a deal, shopping, then decorating, that's how this girl keeps her sanity.
I used to crave oodles of time alone with my husband. He's a very nice man and I enjoy his company. And I still enjoy his company, his presence is part of what keeps me sane, but after the 3rd baby, returning home to one income again, our funds and time became limited. We jokingly say, wow, in 2 years we would have made the home stretch for just you and me time, then we look at Daniel, and say, but, oh he's such a love and blessing. I had to let go of my dissatisfaction of our limited time and embrace what we have chosen, to have a family. To have children. To be engaged with them, in the short time they are with us, and to make that "our time". I still think it would fun to wisk him away for a weekend, and that will happen, in due time. Their time is "Our Time". Its what we have chosen for this season, so I have chosen to embrace this to keep my sanity.
I love to cook and bake. I had the idea, though, I had to do it every single night. This was robbing me of my sanity. You hear a lot about the family dinner table. And I love that idea. At our dinner table during the teen years especially, my girls would warn friends, we talk about gross stuff, awkward stuff, at the table, mostly sex and boys and bathroom stuff and politics and religion. yup, all while eating. and with boys present. Oh we are a party over here in the Robbins Nest. But, keeping my sanity does not involve making meals every night. I probably make 3 really good meals a week, and then we feast off them the rest of the week, heating them up in the microwave. I love to bake. I probably bake more than I cook, but when it includes pumpkin, I'm like, hey a vegetable, folks, eat up. Those chocolate chips are an excellent mood boost, and this mamma needs a mood boost.
Becoming choosy who I spend my time with. I know, I know. Sounds like I am snob. But I am not. I love everyone. And I assume everyone loves me. However, this was robbing me of my sanity. I cannot be friends with everyone. I cannot engage with everyone I meet like I have known them for 30 years, because I haven't. Not everyone wants to be my friend or has the time to be my friend. EGADS. I simply just learned this about 5 years ago, I know, I am a socially late bloomer on some levels. I sat down and thought one day. My immediate family, my married into family, my church family, ie Bible Study ladies, my friends who will be waxing off the facial hairs in the nursing home friends, (they know who they are, AND you must all have friends like these, its very very important!) adopted family members, neighborhood friends, and friends from way back in the day who knew me when I was a total weirdo and legalistic fanatic, have to keep those around for laughs, well, you get the point. I was loosing my sanity trying to keep up with all these people. I had to learn to pick. It almost sounds mean, but I had to. I had to learn to differentiate and stop trying so hard with people who really didn't care, or value me. This has kept my sanity.
The one insane thing I am thinking and praying about is getting a puppy. You can all be praying for me that I do not become insane once again!
Love, from our nest to yours,
JulieRobbins keeping it really sane, or at least trying. ;)
My Sanity Journey looks like this.
There are certain threads through out this tapestry that are constant. One such Thread was added to my quilt called Julie, when I decided at the ripe age of 29 to investigate the Bible. Kristen was 1yr., and the church we attended had a Tuesday morning Bible study called Women of the Word. It was a video teaching series, with a heavy load of homework/Bible study, but I was ready, and I joined. This began a journey I have continued, now hosting Bible studies in my home, having met many many wonderful women. Love My Bible Studies. Saved my life.
Going to Church saved my life and my marriage. If you are struggling in your marriage, go to church. And don't go to church looking for perfect people, go to church looking for God, and it will take the focus off you and put it somewhere else. Can't tell you how many times I needed that to happen to keep my sanity for one more day.
My friends from Lamaze class kept my sanity. Beth, Aleyne, and Sue. All of which I am still friends with to this very day. Those Fridays at McDonalds play place kept me sane. Being with women of like mind, meaning, the liked their kids but acknowledged the struggle, yup, those women saved my life. Just knowing I could get together with them regularly, to talk, to drink coffee while our kids ran pell mell through McDonalds, and knowing we shared an underlying faith, even though it all looked different for each of us, worked. Love these gals.
Through out my journey to maintain my sanity, the seasons have changed, the needs have changed in our family, and I have had to change. What I value now, as opposed to what I valued 20 years ago may seem a bit different, but I have kept what works, using the wisdom God has grown in me to differentiate what is working and what simply was not anymore.
Having a Mary Kay business in the middle of nowhere. Best Job I Ever Had. Got me out of the house, caused me to spend some time on ME, (ie: showering, fixing my hair, putting on make up and some nice clothes, its okay to do that ladies, and still be called, Mom as your main role! for real!) and forced me into leaving my small world on 15 Third Street and getting to know others in the community. I learned all the social skills I would ever need for life in that one experience. God First, Family Second, Career Third. I challenge anyone that finds a home based business that has been around as long as Mary Kay who has always held these values. Having a home spa day with just my girls, or their friends, ahhhhhhhh keeping my sanity.
I made the choice to homeschool. Lasted 2 years at it. At first, I was all agog with it. I am a natural saleswoman. I can sell ANYTHING I am currently into, and make you want to do it to! I had a lot of steam when I started, oh man, it was obnoxious. I made some wonderful friends, joined a Friday group, that was wonderful, but it was the Monday thru Thursday that was killing me. I won't go into all the details, but suffice to say, my husband came home many a day and said, Just Put Them On The Bus, Julie. So, I put them on the bus one day, cried for 6 months every day when I left them at school, but I kept my sanity, and all was well(not perfect, but WELL) and that folks, was worth it to me to keep me sane.
I don't like clutter and messes, but, guess what, when you have a house full of people, and all their stuff, you have a mess times 10. I had to let go of thinking I needed order and cleanliness for my sanity, because if I did not, I would be mad all the time at everyone. I am the only one who cares. I have tried talking, threatening, loss of privleges, family meetings, blah blah blah. I don't need any more suggestions on how to get others to cooperate, I simply needed to lower my standards. No more perfection. I clean what I can, when I can. I love having people in my home, a real motivator to pick up and throw out stuff.
I love to decorate. A sanity keeper for me. I love to find deals at TJMaxx and decorate my home with them. I tried pintrest stuff, but I have a circle foam thing in my home 1/2 covered with orange yarn hoping to turn into something one day, but, ain't happening. Getting a deal, shopping, then decorating, that's how this girl keeps her sanity.
I used to crave oodles of time alone with my husband. He's a very nice man and I enjoy his company. And I still enjoy his company, his presence is part of what keeps me sane, but after the 3rd baby, returning home to one income again, our funds and time became limited. We jokingly say, wow, in 2 years we would have made the home stretch for just you and me time, then we look at Daniel, and say, but, oh he's such a love and blessing. I had to let go of my dissatisfaction of our limited time and embrace what we have chosen, to have a family. To have children. To be engaged with them, in the short time they are with us, and to make that "our time". I still think it would fun to wisk him away for a weekend, and that will happen, in due time. Their time is "Our Time". Its what we have chosen for this season, so I have chosen to embrace this to keep my sanity.
I love to cook and bake. I had the idea, though, I had to do it every single night. This was robbing me of my sanity. You hear a lot about the family dinner table. And I love that idea. At our dinner table during the teen years especially, my girls would warn friends, we talk about gross stuff, awkward stuff, at the table, mostly sex and boys and bathroom stuff and politics and religion. yup, all while eating. and with boys present. Oh we are a party over here in the Robbins Nest. But, keeping my sanity does not involve making meals every night. I probably make 3 really good meals a week, and then we feast off them the rest of the week, heating them up in the microwave. I love to bake. I probably bake more than I cook, but when it includes pumpkin, I'm like, hey a vegetable, folks, eat up. Those chocolate chips are an excellent mood boost, and this mamma needs a mood boost.
Becoming choosy who I spend my time with. I know, I know. Sounds like I am snob. But I am not. I love everyone. And I assume everyone loves me. However, this was robbing me of my sanity. I cannot be friends with everyone. I cannot engage with everyone I meet like I have known them for 30 years, because I haven't. Not everyone wants to be my friend or has the time to be my friend. EGADS. I simply just learned this about 5 years ago, I know, I am a socially late bloomer on some levels. I sat down and thought one day. My immediate family, my married into family, my church family, ie Bible Study ladies, my friends who will be waxing off the facial hairs in the nursing home friends, (they know who they are, AND you must all have friends like these, its very very important!) adopted family members, neighborhood friends, and friends from way back in the day who knew me when I was a total weirdo and legalistic fanatic, have to keep those around for laughs, well, you get the point. I was loosing my sanity trying to keep up with all these people. I had to learn to pick. It almost sounds mean, but I had to. I had to learn to differentiate and stop trying so hard with people who really didn't care, or value me. This has kept my sanity.
The one insane thing I am thinking and praying about is getting a puppy. You can all be praying for me that I do not become insane once again!
Love, from our nest to yours,
JulieRobbins keeping it really sane, or at least trying. ;)
Monday, October 6, 2014
I am getting honest and tired.
Who writes a blog post about getting honest and tired?
Someone who doesn't expect anyone to read their blog, that's who.
I was talking to a good friend recently at Dysarts Restaurant about feeling like I was going crazy. She promptly said, You aren't going crazy, you are just old enough now to see things for what they really are, and we both need to develop a plan on how to deal with it.
My daughter got married this summer. To say that was unexpected, is an understatement. It was the craziest 4 months of planning I have ever experienced in my life. Recently I was invited to go to a wedding and the sole reason I considered NOT going had nothing to do with the bride and groom and their nuptuals, it was the anxiety I felt the whole week before simply going to this wedding due to what I experienced the week before my daughters wedding, and the the rehearsal, the morning of, oh my crazy crazy word. I will be honest, I am not over it. I am still tired from all that marathon planning, the moments of disappointments, the revelations, the acknowledgment that I really don't know what I agreed to and signed her up for. (And I love Lucas, he's wonderful!) Call me a wimp, but something breaks when you give away one of your children to someone else. Its all supposedly normal, natural, good, that they leave you, but something breaks. A separation occurs that no one can prepare you for, ever.
I lost family this past year. It hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes how much I miss my mother in law. She would have been so proud of Kristen. She loved her grandchildren. I wish I had invested more time in her, I really do. Especially since I have been in Bangor for the past 10 years while she was in Old Town. It kills me I did not make more effort to bring her to my house for dinner. Or that I didn't call her more often, or stop by to see her. There were extenuating circumstances at times, but I could have picked her up, and taken her to my house. She loved Daniel and so enjoyed his sweet nature.
My dear sweet sister in law Jenny lost her husband. What a dark time I walked through with her. And her girls. Loosing someone is horrible. Loosing your husband is horrible. There is no way to make that good, or right, or okay. It is simply horrible, and I am blessed to have been one of her go to people, still am. Her girls lost their Daddy. When I even begin to think about my daughters and Daniel never seeing Carl again, ever, my stomach lurches. How could I do this parenting thing on my own? Carl is our sanity. He's our emotional rock when we all want to kill each other in this female maze of hormones. Carl was there to speak a blessing over his daughter at her wedding. Imagine him Gone. Forever. That's what Jenny has walked through.
I apologize ahead of time if I seem callous to your needs. I have moved into the wrelm of "Is this life or death?" If not, heavy sigh, I am sorry if I don't appear interested.
My mother has started forgetting things. I don't even want to utter the words associated with this potential happening, because I simply cannot go there. There has been no official diagnosis, because my mother is THAT stubborn, hates doctors, hates all medication, will not talk to anyone, and somewhat like her daughter, thinks everyone is crazy. Except her. But, I will be there for my Mom, no matter what is going on with her.
I know I can not fix anything, nor does anything need my fixing. Its simply life, and it will play out as life will play out. I write in my journal daily, prayers upon prayers, words I hear from God, scriptures that speak to my heart. I am not devoid of my "God Time".
I am just tired. Its not the sleep deprived tired. I have been sleep deprived for years. I have started taking vitamins. I drink water. I am now doing this weird yoga stuff in the a.m. thinking, Why Yes, I will be swamped with energy.
Its not that kind of tired.
Please don't feel bad for me. I think I am entering into a new season of life, one that is so brutally honest that probably only my people who have known me when will be able to go to the depth with me and still love me through it. Of course, I will try to take others along with me, because that's how I am. The circle stays open, even though I am tired. and may be brutally honest, so I guess I will ask for forgiveness ahead of time.
Pray for us as a family.
Carl has a crazy year ahead of him. He's involved in a program that will take everything he's got and more. Elizabeth needs protection and guidance and strength and for good and real friends. Kristen and Lucas as both in college, working, married. Been there done that and was always grateful for all of you that prayed Carl and I through. My sweet Daniel is now in preschool, he is doing great, more prayers for me as he becomes more and more independent. For my extended family, I am praying for health and direction and guidance and protection for them as well.
So, if you see me out and about and I seem quiet. I still love you. I am just spent and I am being honest about it.
Much Honest Love from Our Nest to Yours.
Julie Robbins
Someone who doesn't expect anyone to read their blog, that's who.
I was talking to a good friend recently at Dysarts Restaurant about feeling like I was going crazy. She promptly said, You aren't going crazy, you are just old enough now to see things for what they really are, and we both need to develop a plan on how to deal with it.
My daughter got married this summer. To say that was unexpected, is an understatement. It was the craziest 4 months of planning I have ever experienced in my life. Recently I was invited to go to a wedding and the sole reason I considered NOT going had nothing to do with the bride and groom and their nuptuals, it was the anxiety I felt the whole week before simply going to this wedding due to what I experienced the week before my daughters wedding, and the the rehearsal, the morning of, oh my crazy crazy word. I will be honest, I am not over it. I am still tired from all that marathon planning, the moments of disappointments, the revelations, the acknowledgment that I really don't know what I agreed to and signed her up for. (And I love Lucas, he's wonderful!) Call me a wimp, but something breaks when you give away one of your children to someone else. Its all supposedly normal, natural, good, that they leave you, but something breaks. A separation occurs that no one can prepare you for, ever.
I lost family this past year. It hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes how much I miss my mother in law. She would have been so proud of Kristen. She loved her grandchildren. I wish I had invested more time in her, I really do. Especially since I have been in Bangor for the past 10 years while she was in Old Town. It kills me I did not make more effort to bring her to my house for dinner. Or that I didn't call her more often, or stop by to see her. There were extenuating circumstances at times, but I could have picked her up, and taken her to my house. She loved Daniel and so enjoyed his sweet nature.
My dear sweet sister in law Jenny lost her husband. What a dark time I walked through with her. And her girls. Loosing someone is horrible. Loosing your husband is horrible. There is no way to make that good, or right, or okay. It is simply horrible, and I am blessed to have been one of her go to people, still am. Her girls lost their Daddy. When I even begin to think about my daughters and Daniel never seeing Carl again, ever, my stomach lurches. How could I do this parenting thing on my own? Carl is our sanity. He's our emotional rock when we all want to kill each other in this female maze of hormones. Carl was there to speak a blessing over his daughter at her wedding. Imagine him Gone. Forever. That's what Jenny has walked through.
I apologize ahead of time if I seem callous to your needs. I have moved into the wrelm of "Is this life or death?" If not, heavy sigh, I am sorry if I don't appear interested.
My mother has started forgetting things. I don't even want to utter the words associated with this potential happening, because I simply cannot go there. There has been no official diagnosis, because my mother is THAT stubborn, hates doctors, hates all medication, will not talk to anyone, and somewhat like her daughter, thinks everyone is crazy. Except her. But, I will be there for my Mom, no matter what is going on with her.
I know I can not fix anything, nor does anything need my fixing. Its simply life, and it will play out as life will play out. I write in my journal daily, prayers upon prayers, words I hear from God, scriptures that speak to my heart. I am not devoid of my "God Time".
I am just tired. Its not the sleep deprived tired. I have been sleep deprived for years. I have started taking vitamins. I drink water. I am now doing this weird yoga stuff in the a.m. thinking, Why Yes, I will be swamped with energy.
Its not that kind of tired.
Please don't feel bad for me. I think I am entering into a new season of life, one that is so brutally honest that probably only my people who have known me when will be able to go to the depth with me and still love me through it. Of course, I will try to take others along with me, because that's how I am. The circle stays open, even though I am tired. and may be brutally honest, so I guess I will ask for forgiveness ahead of time.
Pray for us as a family.
Carl has a crazy year ahead of him. He's involved in a program that will take everything he's got and more. Elizabeth needs protection and guidance and strength and for good and real friends. Kristen and Lucas as both in college, working, married. Been there done that and was always grateful for all of you that prayed Carl and I through. My sweet Daniel is now in preschool, he is doing great, more prayers for me as he becomes more and more independent. For my extended family, I am praying for health and direction and guidance and protection for them as well.
So, if you see me out and about and I seem quiet. I still love you. I am just spent and I am being honest about it.
Much Honest Love from Our Nest to Yours.
Julie Robbins
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Date Night With the Hubby
AHHHHH, the night had arrived for our Date.
I had recently said to my husband in a probably whiny tone, "You know, we haven't done anything fun in a very long while. Fun, meaning, get out of this house together fun. I do like you and all, and I would like to spend some time with you." His response always has something to do with money, and then I turn into Charlie Brown when listening to his school teacher, yup, that's me, and I walk away, sigh, and go read.
Carl surprised me by getting us tickets to Bill Cosby. Groupon was having a special 1/2 price off deal, and so, walah. Made the hubster happy, he HATES to pay full price for anything, ever, so half price made him happy, and me, well, I just want to get out of the house ALONE with him, and its not McDonalds or Tim Hortons and I am beginning to now NOT count those as dates. I mean REALLY.
We are still in the wrelm of needing a babysitter. I know, what were we thinking? So, I picked up Elizabeth at 6p.m. from soccer practice, thinking we could just take off. Bill Cosby didn't start until 8p.m. so that should be enough time to eat before Bill, right?
This is where the absolute FUN begins.
Daniel notices that Mom is curling her hair. Mommy, where are you going? Why are you doing Yat (his way of saying "that") to your hair? Carl and I start spelling things to each other. How are we "G-O-I-N-G to G-E-T O-U-T of here". I reply "S-N-E-A-K O-U-T T-H-E P-O-R-C-H D-O-O-R" Daniel is simply looking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, as we are spelling these phrases out. He starts to cling. "Don't leave me with Elizabeth, she mean. I not want Elizabeth. Take me with you. Not Elizabeth!!!" Elizabeth is saying, Well, now that makes me feel good Daniel, thats not nice. that's NOT NICE.
Folks there is an absolutely GOOD REASON I tell people to WAIT AS LONG AS YOU CAN TO PROCREATE. A Very Good Reason. Actually I have 100s of good reasons to WAIT.
Finally, we put on Shrek for the 100th millionth time, and yes, I still find it funny for the 100th millionth time. We were at a field trip recently and there was a donkey the kids were being introduced to and my son says, "Oh HEY. Donkey is on Shrek, and his name is DONKEY!!! thats funny." I could here the horrified conservative first timers saying, oh my goodness, doesn't she know that movie is SATANIC??? I laugh every time I watch that movie, its an official riot in my book.
So, we finally at 6:45 p.m. sneak out one at a time to the van. Whew. Can we just roll this van out of the driveway so he won't hear it? We sped away, no one came running out of the house after us (yes, THAT has happened on more than one occasion).
Lets get something to eat.
We park out car in the downtown parking garage across from Mountain Sports. That is THE parking garage that my wonderful husband first kissed me in. We came out of the dance club, where had met a week or so prior, and he kissed me, right in that parking garage, and I remember thinking, oh WOW! This guy is a winner. The idea of this not kissing business was WAY LOST on this gal. Now, I understand the whole no sex before marriage, but really? no kissing? That's how you made the cut with me in those days, poor kisser, no chances here, plenty of fish in the sea waiting to be caught in my web who knew how to kiss well, and oh yeah, he kissed VERY WELL.
We decide to stroll in to Thia Siam. I was always curious about this place. We walked in, no one there. I am thinking, whats up? Its Friday night? And then I said to Carl. "Whats that SMELL?" He smiles. He officially gets a kick out of me. He responds, "I think its the food." "What? You can't be serious. It smells like dishwater, weird moldy something, and not sure what else". I am like, I can't eat here. So we march ourselves across the street to Paddy Murphys. We have eaten here one other time on some special deal or other, and its kinda a local hang out-ish bar-ish pub-ish place. We walk in and the sign says "Seat Yourselves" well, okay. 2 Tables were full of Bangor teachers, one of the tables got up and we slid right in. While waiting for the table to be cleaned off, a young man came over and said to us, You can't sit here. You have to move. WHAT? You have to wait to be seated. My husband says very nicely,"Thats not what the sign says." Oh, the sign wasn't changed, so you can't sit here. ARE YOU SERIOUS. is what I am thinking. So we get up, a 3-some of women sit down that were there just about the exact same time we entered the establishment, and I look at my husband, and say, you know what? that pisses me off. I am not eating here, and we are running out of time anyway.
You know, I just want to go out with my husband.
So, we walk back up to the parking garage, get in the van, and tool down Main Street.
Want to go to Tim Hortons, Hon?? Can you see my eye roll through the computer screen???
HEAVY SIGH "OKAY".
We pull into Tim Hortons. No one was there. We went and ordered. We got everything we wanted. All for like $17.00. We sat down, had a lovely conversation, ate good food and soup and latte. No tip needed.
I gotta tell you. I am all for supporting local business, but between the lack of service I got locally when planning my daughters wedding, and simply trying to go out with my husband, I am thinking, either people don't know what good service looks like anymore, or they simply aren't hungry enough. Not sure which, but, I am liking the chains more and more each and every day.
Bill Cosby was simply the best. THE BEST. I laughed SO HARD. Now that's my kind of night. Nothing scary or too dramatic. Just FUNNY. I love to Laugh. My husband knows me well after all these years. He also was actually sick that night with a very nasty cold. He had stayed home in bed all day from school so he could make sure and be up for going out with me that night. Yes, we ate at Tim Hortons, and that was okay. Better than okay. It was great, and funny, and Daniel survived Elizabeth, she even put him to bed.
The date was worth all the effort. And I can't wait to see what he plans next. I am thinking this will be his job from now on. I did tell him I would expect him to pay full price if Seinfeld every came to town. :)
Funny Times from Our Nest to Yours,
Julie, still the giggler and the kisser. xoxoxoxxo
I had recently said to my husband in a probably whiny tone, "You know, we haven't done anything fun in a very long while. Fun, meaning, get out of this house together fun. I do like you and all, and I would like to spend some time with you." His response always has something to do with money, and then I turn into Charlie Brown when listening to his school teacher, yup, that's me, and I walk away, sigh, and go read.
Carl surprised me by getting us tickets to Bill Cosby. Groupon was having a special 1/2 price off deal, and so, walah. Made the hubster happy, he HATES to pay full price for anything, ever, so half price made him happy, and me, well, I just want to get out of the house ALONE with him, and its not McDonalds or Tim Hortons and I am beginning to now NOT count those as dates. I mean REALLY.
We are still in the wrelm of needing a babysitter. I know, what were we thinking? So, I picked up Elizabeth at 6p.m. from soccer practice, thinking we could just take off. Bill Cosby didn't start until 8p.m. so that should be enough time to eat before Bill, right?
This is where the absolute FUN begins.
Daniel notices that Mom is curling her hair. Mommy, where are you going? Why are you doing Yat (his way of saying "that") to your hair? Carl and I start spelling things to each other. How are we "G-O-I-N-G to G-E-T O-U-T of here". I reply "S-N-E-A-K O-U-T T-H-E P-O-R-C-H D-O-O-R" Daniel is simply looking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, as we are spelling these phrases out. He starts to cling. "Don't leave me with Elizabeth, she mean. I not want Elizabeth. Take me with you. Not Elizabeth!!!" Elizabeth is saying, Well, now that makes me feel good Daniel, thats not nice. that's NOT NICE.
Folks there is an absolutely GOOD REASON I tell people to WAIT AS LONG AS YOU CAN TO PROCREATE. A Very Good Reason. Actually I have 100s of good reasons to WAIT.
Finally, we put on Shrek for the 100th millionth time, and yes, I still find it funny for the 100th millionth time. We were at a field trip recently and there was a donkey the kids were being introduced to and my son says, "Oh HEY. Donkey is on Shrek, and his name is DONKEY!!! thats funny." I could here the horrified conservative first timers saying, oh my goodness, doesn't she know that movie is SATANIC??? I laugh every time I watch that movie, its an official riot in my book.
So, we finally at 6:45 p.m. sneak out one at a time to the van. Whew. Can we just roll this van out of the driveway so he won't hear it? We sped away, no one came running out of the house after us (yes, THAT has happened on more than one occasion).
Lets get something to eat.
We park out car in the downtown parking garage across from Mountain Sports. That is THE parking garage that my wonderful husband first kissed me in. We came out of the dance club, where had met a week or so prior, and he kissed me, right in that parking garage, and I remember thinking, oh WOW! This guy is a winner. The idea of this not kissing business was WAY LOST on this gal. Now, I understand the whole no sex before marriage, but really? no kissing? That's how you made the cut with me in those days, poor kisser, no chances here, plenty of fish in the sea waiting to be caught in my web who knew how to kiss well, and oh yeah, he kissed VERY WELL.
We decide to stroll in to Thia Siam. I was always curious about this place. We walked in, no one there. I am thinking, whats up? Its Friday night? And then I said to Carl. "Whats that SMELL?" He smiles. He officially gets a kick out of me. He responds, "I think its the food." "What? You can't be serious. It smells like dishwater, weird moldy something, and not sure what else". I am like, I can't eat here. So we march ourselves across the street to Paddy Murphys. We have eaten here one other time on some special deal or other, and its kinda a local hang out-ish bar-ish pub-ish place. We walk in and the sign says "Seat Yourselves" well, okay. 2 Tables were full of Bangor teachers, one of the tables got up and we slid right in. While waiting for the table to be cleaned off, a young man came over and said to us, You can't sit here. You have to move. WHAT? You have to wait to be seated. My husband says very nicely,"Thats not what the sign says." Oh, the sign wasn't changed, so you can't sit here. ARE YOU SERIOUS. is what I am thinking. So we get up, a 3-some of women sit down that were there just about the exact same time we entered the establishment, and I look at my husband, and say, you know what? that pisses me off. I am not eating here, and we are running out of time anyway.
You know, I just want to go out with my husband.
So, we walk back up to the parking garage, get in the van, and tool down Main Street.
Want to go to Tim Hortons, Hon?? Can you see my eye roll through the computer screen???
HEAVY SIGH "OKAY".
We pull into Tim Hortons. No one was there. We went and ordered. We got everything we wanted. All for like $17.00. We sat down, had a lovely conversation, ate good food and soup and latte. No tip needed.
I gotta tell you. I am all for supporting local business, but between the lack of service I got locally when planning my daughters wedding, and simply trying to go out with my husband, I am thinking, either people don't know what good service looks like anymore, or they simply aren't hungry enough. Not sure which, but, I am liking the chains more and more each and every day.
Bill Cosby was simply the best. THE BEST. I laughed SO HARD. Now that's my kind of night. Nothing scary or too dramatic. Just FUNNY. I love to Laugh. My husband knows me well after all these years. He also was actually sick that night with a very nasty cold. He had stayed home in bed all day from school so he could make sure and be up for going out with me that night. Yes, we ate at Tim Hortons, and that was okay. Better than okay. It was great, and funny, and Daniel survived Elizabeth, she even put him to bed.
The date was worth all the effort. And I can't wait to see what he plans next. I am thinking this will be his job from now on. I did tell him I would expect him to pay full price if Seinfeld every came to town. :)
Funny Times from Our Nest to Yours,
Julie, still the giggler and the kisser. xoxoxoxxo
Monday, September 1, 2014
My Wishes for Teachers
Dear Teachers,
Know that as a parent I will be praying for each of you.
Some days it may be a global prayer. Some days as God specifically brings your name and face to mind, I will speak a blessing over your day.
I will pray for your physical safety, your mental fortitude, and your soul to be soothed after a long hard day.
I send you my children.
Not only do I want them to learn from you, I want them to bless you.
I want them to bless you with the good I have instilled in them.
I want them to bless you with their respectful behavior towards you.
I want them to bless you with their work ethic and their ability to be a team player in the classroom as well as on the sports field or work place.
I want you to sense the light that is within them, that there IS a difference.
My prayer is for their light to be obvious. To be real. To be soothing to you on your hardest of days.
I respect you, Teacher.
I am a teacher. I know the value of what you do. I support what you do. I know how hard it was for you to get that education to teach, to take those board exams, to pass & to receive your certification. I honor that effort and hold it in high regard.
And because of the precious gift I am turning over to you daily, my flesh and blood, my heart beat, my life, I will expect you to honor my children.
I expect and know you will show up prepared, ready, and on target with what my child and your classroom needs.
I expect you to be respectful of my child and other children.
Sarcasm of any kind has no place in the classroom.
I expect you to have rules for my children to follow so that the classroom environment will be enjoyable, full of learning, and kind.
I am trusting you with my jewels.
I promise to support and communicate effectively with you, Teacher.
And I honor you.
Many Prayers from this Mom,
Julie
Know that as a parent I will be praying for each of you.
Some days it may be a global prayer. Some days as God specifically brings your name and face to mind, I will speak a blessing over your day.
I will pray for your physical safety, your mental fortitude, and your soul to be soothed after a long hard day.
I send you my children.
Not only do I want them to learn from you, I want them to bless you.
I want them to bless you with the good I have instilled in them.
I want them to bless you with their respectful behavior towards you.
I want them to bless you with their work ethic and their ability to be a team player in the classroom as well as on the sports field or work place.
I want you to sense the light that is within them, that there IS a difference.
My prayer is for their light to be obvious. To be real. To be soothing to you on your hardest of days.
I respect you, Teacher.
I am a teacher. I know the value of what you do. I support what you do. I know how hard it was for you to get that education to teach, to take those board exams, to pass & to receive your certification. I honor that effort and hold it in high regard.
And because of the precious gift I am turning over to you daily, my flesh and blood, my heart beat, my life, I will expect you to honor my children.
I expect and know you will show up prepared, ready, and on target with what my child and your classroom needs.
I expect you to be respectful of my child and other children.
Sarcasm of any kind has no place in the classroom.
I expect you to have rules for my children to follow so that the classroom environment will be enjoyable, full of learning, and kind.
I am trusting you with my jewels.
I promise to support and communicate effectively with you, Teacher.
And I honor you.
Many Prayers from this Mom,
Julie
Friday, August 22, 2014
A Grateful Heart
A couple of Sundays ago I sat in church with my family and we all took communion together. It was a moment that I could not have known would exist in my life 2 years prior. I did not know Lucas Sockbeson. I did not know my daughter Kristen's future. I did not know Elizabeth would have back surgery. 5 years prior to that communion moment I did not know I would have a loving 4 year old boy.
I began to ponder this moment of communion.
A communion of 6 souls in one place that God already knew about the possibilities. I became overwhelmed with an understanding that I can barely put into words. Through some hardships, lots of prayers, a mustard seed of faith and trust at times, God Knew.
My faith allows for this kind of thinking.
I know a God Who Knew.
Who Knows.
Who Sees the Future.
Just ponder that for a second.
I have tears that I simply don't have words for to express.
The day my daughter got married was beautiful. perfect. lovely. well thought out and well planned. elegant. simple. naturally coming together. all those involved did their 100% and helped create this wonderful plan of a special day for Lucas and Kristen. I am grateful.
I have faith in a God who Knew, Who Knows, Who Saw the day and the future.
deep breathe and take that all in.
With many prayers, rejoicing, lovely moments, deep commitments, and friends and family looking on, the day made an impact on me in so many ways. I would be remiss if I did not say thank you to the multitudes of people who made this day possible. If I made a list I would not want to leave anyone out. You are all so special to us.
As fall approaches, and we begin again with another year. I want to remember my communion moment.
I serve a God who Knew, who Knows, Who Sees.
At the soccer field.
At the preschool at UMaine.
On the corner of Kenduskeag and Griffin.
In Room A1-11 in the math wing at BHS.
University Of Maine, Orono.
Eastern Maine Community College.
Dysarts Restaurant.
JCPenney.
And Beyond.
God Knew, God Knows, and God Sees.
I would say my faith can grow just a wee bit bigger than a mustard seed this year, however, thats what God tells me is all I need, and He will take care of the rest.
Happy Fall everyone.
Much Love from Two Nests
I began to ponder this moment of communion.
A communion of 6 souls in one place that God already knew about the possibilities. I became overwhelmed with an understanding that I can barely put into words. Through some hardships, lots of prayers, a mustard seed of faith and trust at times, God Knew.
My faith allows for this kind of thinking.
I know a God Who Knew.
Who Knows.
Who Sees the Future.
Just ponder that for a second.
I have tears that I simply don't have words for to express.
The day my daughter got married was beautiful. perfect. lovely. well thought out and well planned. elegant. simple. naturally coming together. all those involved did their 100% and helped create this wonderful plan of a special day for Lucas and Kristen. I am grateful.
I have faith in a God who Knew, Who Knows, Who Saw the day and the future.
deep breathe and take that all in.
With many prayers, rejoicing, lovely moments, deep commitments, and friends and family looking on, the day made an impact on me in so many ways. I would be remiss if I did not say thank you to the multitudes of people who made this day possible. If I made a list I would not want to leave anyone out. You are all so special to us.
As fall approaches, and we begin again with another year. I want to remember my communion moment.
I serve a God who Knew, who Knows, Who Sees.
At the soccer field.
At the preschool at UMaine.
On the corner of Kenduskeag and Griffin.
In Room A1-11 in the math wing at BHS.
University Of Maine, Orono.
Eastern Maine Community College.
Dysarts Restaurant.
JCPenney.
And Beyond.
God Knew, God Knows, and God Sees.
I would say my faith can grow just a wee bit bigger than a mustard seed this year, however, thats what God tells me is all I need, and He will take care of the rest.
Happy Fall everyone.
Much Love from Two Nests
Friday, May 23, 2014
There are worse things you kids could be doing.........
Just as when I found out I was pregnant at age 42 and hesitated for months to tell anyone because I did not want verbal backlash, I have hesitated to talk about my daughter's upcoming marriage. I have been told to stop worrying about what others think, let it roll off me.
But here's the thing. It concerns me that people actually think the worse thing you could do with your life is get married. Especially for people who ARE married to your kids father or mother. Imagine saying in front of your husband of 20+ years,"the worst thing I ever did was marry your father." Or the husband saying "The worst thing I ever did was marry your mother." "We made a big mistake." Realllllly think about that. If you truly believe that about your marriage and your life, I would suggest marital counseling and I am guessing its not much fun to be around you or your husband, for your kids or for anyone else.
I have even caught myself when talking about Kristen saying, oh yes, so proud of her. She's going to nursing school in the fall, not mentioning her upcoming marriage. Or talking about how her tuition is covered at UMaine, etc. Or her job at Sunbury Village, and now she's being trained an extremely busy restaurant called Dysarts to be a waitress.
I took a chance last week at the hairdressers. I told her my daughter was getting married. I said she was graduating and then getting married. I waited for the judgement, the unbelief. She said nothing. Which can sometimes be as bad. And I added, I am super proud of these kids. They are NOT going to live together before marriage, they are making a real commitment, an adult commitment. I am really proud of them both. Then she smiled. That's wonderful. You are going to be a busy but happy Momma. Exhale.
Our culture seemingly accepts just about anything. The behaviors we have voted in as legal in the state of Maine in the past 10 years saddens me to say the least. But "to each his own" is the watch word and song, supposedly.
There are worse things both my daughters could be doing.
They could be pregnant with no husband or father of the baby to come forward and help out.
They could have addiction problems to either prescription drugs or illegal drugs.
They could get drunk regularly with their friends to be cool and popular.
They could have abusive boyfriends.
They could have a DUI.
They could have no plans for the future, living come what may.
They could be jobless or homeless or both.
They could be atheists.
They could care less about school or furthering their educations.
They could have no integrity, no work ethic, and/or skip school regularly.
They could think their parents owe them everything.
But instead.
My daughter and her fiancee are saving money, planning a budget to live by, that includes giving, saving, and planning for their future.
My daughter is following her conscience.
My daughter has an excellent work ethic, and she has had an excellent reputation at every place she has worked that includes being a team player, hard worker, fully efficient, and kind to others, as does Lucas have this same reputation at the 2 jobs he has as well as at his college.
My daughter and her fiance plan their church time to make sure they attend together on Sundays, whether she is serving in childrens ministries or Lucas is going to work.
My daughter has a beautiful apartment to live in that is completely within their budget that she and Lucas have established. Moving in date: July 11th. (wedding date: July 11th).
I am thinking marriage is The Best Decision I made. I have these wonderful kids, and a husband of whom supports me, loves me, and is the Cornerstone of my life.
I don't say any of this to make my kids out to be better than yours. Or to say we have not had our fair share of disagreements in this house. That would be false. I am not better than you. She is not better than any of your kids. No one's kids are better than anyone else's kids. Here me on that.
Here's the thing to think about when you start talking, and I know you have.
Lucas and Kristen are beginning their life together. They have developed a deep love for one another and want to make a permanent commitment to what they see as the greatest thing that can happen to either of them, getting married and they are including God.
Will they have plenty to learn? absolutely. Anyone of us that has been married for any length of time had plenty to learn. I still have plenty to learn, and I want to learn. Are they young? well, that's obvious. I feel so old some days at 46, I would kill to be 19 for just 1 day, and I would be 19 with my 21 year old boyfriend. ahhhhhhhh. now that would be awesome. (boyfriend is said current husband, Carl Robbins).
50 years ago this would be a boring conversation. The Norm. No biggie. We have encouraged our youth into arrested development. Wait to grow up. Live with your parents until you're 30. No biggie. Or better yet, live with your parents as adults and eat all their food, don't pay rent, and don't help around the house, AND bring friends. Why not? No need to grow up too fast.
I am beginning to wonder if college is just another way to extend the teen years. I LOVED it the day I spent with Kristen on campus at UMaine. I got to sit, listen to a professor talk, walk around campus, get my exercise, went to the cafeteria, had oodles of food choices, none of which were made by me. I thought I was in heaven. I thought, I wish I could go back to college. This would be awesome. Its all about perspective, isn't it? I am all in favor of kids going to college, please don't get me wrong, I went to college. But I also was married most of my college experience. I "missed" out on the partying, having multiple boyfriends and potential sex partners, being pressured into drinking alcohol, and the one year I did live with a roommate? Let's just say that was a little piece of hell. Mostly because I already had goals for my future, I was engaged, and I did not have my parents credit card to use to go to Canada for the weekend to get drunk. I was also working, of which no one in the dorm seemed to think you could do and go to college. I did both.
So, the cat's out of the bag. Kristen and Lucas are getting married on July 11th at Moose Point State Park, and I could not be happier for them. So now, if you see me in public, I WILL do nothing but talk about it WITH PRIDE!
Oh, and I love the family we are adding. The Sockbesons. Nicole, Andy, Andrew (jr), and Chloe. I love you all already, along with Lucas, and am praying for our lovely union as well.
I can't wait to have another boy.
Love from Our Nest to Yours!
Julie Robbins. :)
But here's the thing. It concerns me that people actually think the worse thing you could do with your life is get married. Especially for people who ARE married to your kids father or mother. Imagine saying in front of your husband of 20+ years,"the worst thing I ever did was marry your father." Or the husband saying "The worst thing I ever did was marry your mother." "We made a big mistake." Realllllly think about that. If you truly believe that about your marriage and your life, I would suggest marital counseling and I am guessing its not much fun to be around you or your husband, for your kids or for anyone else.
I have even caught myself when talking about Kristen saying, oh yes, so proud of her. She's going to nursing school in the fall, not mentioning her upcoming marriage. Or talking about how her tuition is covered at UMaine, etc. Or her job at Sunbury Village, and now she's being trained an extremely busy restaurant called Dysarts to be a waitress.
I took a chance last week at the hairdressers. I told her my daughter was getting married. I said she was graduating and then getting married. I waited for the judgement, the unbelief. She said nothing. Which can sometimes be as bad. And I added, I am super proud of these kids. They are NOT going to live together before marriage, they are making a real commitment, an adult commitment. I am really proud of them both. Then she smiled. That's wonderful. You are going to be a busy but happy Momma. Exhale.
Our culture seemingly accepts just about anything. The behaviors we have voted in as legal in the state of Maine in the past 10 years saddens me to say the least. But "to each his own" is the watch word and song, supposedly.
There are worse things both my daughters could be doing.
They could be pregnant with no husband or father of the baby to come forward and help out.
They could have addiction problems to either prescription drugs or illegal drugs.
They could get drunk regularly with their friends to be cool and popular.
They could have abusive boyfriends.
They could have a DUI.
They could have no plans for the future, living come what may.
They could be jobless or homeless or both.
They could be atheists.
They could care less about school or furthering their educations.
They could have no integrity, no work ethic, and/or skip school regularly.
They could think their parents owe them everything.
But instead.
My daughter and her fiancee are saving money, planning a budget to live by, that includes giving, saving, and planning for their future.
My daughter is following her conscience.
My daughter has an excellent work ethic, and she has had an excellent reputation at every place she has worked that includes being a team player, hard worker, fully efficient, and kind to others, as does Lucas have this same reputation at the 2 jobs he has as well as at his college.
My daughter and her fiance plan their church time to make sure they attend together on Sundays, whether she is serving in childrens ministries or Lucas is going to work.
My daughter has a beautiful apartment to live in that is completely within their budget that she and Lucas have established. Moving in date: July 11th. (wedding date: July 11th).
I am thinking marriage is The Best Decision I made. I have these wonderful kids, and a husband of whom supports me, loves me, and is the Cornerstone of my life.
I don't say any of this to make my kids out to be better than yours. Or to say we have not had our fair share of disagreements in this house. That would be false. I am not better than you. She is not better than any of your kids. No one's kids are better than anyone else's kids. Here me on that.
Here's the thing to think about when you start talking, and I know you have.
Lucas and Kristen are beginning their life together. They have developed a deep love for one another and want to make a permanent commitment to what they see as the greatest thing that can happen to either of them, getting married and they are including God.
Will they have plenty to learn? absolutely. Anyone of us that has been married for any length of time had plenty to learn. I still have plenty to learn, and I want to learn. Are they young? well, that's obvious. I feel so old some days at 46, I would kill to be 19 for just 1 day, and I would be 19 with my 21 year old boyfriend. ahhhhhhhh. now that would be awesome. (boyfriend is said current husband, Carl Robbins).
50 years ago this would be a boring conversation. The Norm. No biggie. We have encouraged our youth into arrested development. Wait to grow up. Live with your parents until you're 30. No biggie. Or better yet, live with your parents as adults and eat all their food, don't pay rent, and don't help around the house, AND bring friends. Why not? No need to grow up too fast.
I am beginning to wonder if college is just another way to extend the teen years. I LOVED it the day I spent with Kristen on campus at UMaine. I got to sit, listen to a professor talk, walk around campus, get my exercise, went to the cafeteria, had oodles of food choices, none of which were made by me. I thought I was in heaven. I thought, I wish I could go back to college. This would be awesome. Its all about perspective, isn't it? I am all in favor of kids going to college, please don't get me wrong, I went to college. But I also was married most of my college experience. I "missed" out on the partying, having multiple boyfriends and potential sex partners, being pressured into drinking alcohol, and the one year I did live with a roommate? Let's just say that was a little piece of hell. Mostly because I already had goals for my future, I was engaged, and I did not have my parents credit card to use to go to Canada for the weekend to get drunk. I was also working, of which no one in the dorm seemed to think you could do and go to college. I did both.
So, the cat's out of the bag. Kristen and Lucas are getting married on July 11th at Moose Point State Park, and I could not be happier for them. So now, if you see me in public, I WILL do nothing but talk about it WITH PRIDE!
Oh, and I love the family we are adding. The Sockbesons. Nicole, Andy, Andrew (jr), and Chloe. I love you all already, along with Lucas, and am praying for our lovely union as well.
I can't wait to have another boy.
Love from Our Nest to Yours!
Julie Robbins. :)
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