Teenagers, Not So Sure About This Phase

I made a secret confession to first my girlfriend, Valerie, then soon to follow, Sue M., who has 2 daughters, just like me, 2 years apart. I said it in a whisper, as I was feeling guilty before it even left my throat to travel over my tongue, and then out into the universe. I am not liking this phase, AT ALL. NOPE, not at all. There, that's my confession. Don't judge me, especially if you don't have teenagers yet. Or, maybe you are one of those Moms(or Dads) who have the perfect teens, they have been properly behavior modified with adequate amounts of spanking, time outs, deprivations of every kind, no friends, and well, maybe they just plain idolize you as their Mom(or Dad). To you parents, just feel sorry for me.

I have spent oodles of time over the past 16 years creating happy memories for my family. I have the pictures and videos to prove it! REALLY  I DO! I have stubs from events attended, that some day, when I have loads of time, I will scrapbook every single scrap, I promise. I have not missed a concert, barely a soccer game, or cross country meet. I have volunteered in their classrooms, driven them to school when they hated the bus, (actually, it was MOM who hated the bus, but that is for another blog), was their cheerleader when they came home from school with warm cookies and a tender ear to listen to many a tale of woa.

And, quite frankly, held some of the best birthday parties I have ever attended in the history of birthday parties.

Sigh.

And now, well, now, it seems on days like these, it was all a wash. Did I do any of that stuff? Really? Did I nag my family to cut down our Christmas tree each year and have hot donuts and cider from Piper Mountain Tree farm all for naught? Our trips to Florida, splashing in our favorite waterpark, Nautica, did that really happen, or was I dreaming? We were all smiling in our photos. Around the campfires, roasting marshmellows, everyone LOOKED happy. Sigh.

Then this phase had to happen.

Is it because we are all females, vying for that Alpha Female position? Is it because I did not raise "Yes" Women, and they have an opinion and now it is coming back to bite me? How's about a round of "Yes, Mommy, whatever YOU say, MOMMY!" Hey, that would be a great birthday/Mother's Day combo present.

What is good about having teenagers? Let me ponder.

Well, if you have girls, they brush their own teeth and shower daily, sometimes more than once.

My 16 year old just opened her own checking/savings account with a debit card with Christmas money from Gumpy and Uncle Bill.

My 14 year old was dropped off by me at the mall the other day with a friend. And YES, I did the dropping off. Carl said, I'm impressed, I can't believe you did that. Are you worried? And I answered honestly, NOT ONE LITTLE BIT. Who would steal her, they would return her in 5 minutes as she argued every good reason why she was a bad pick.

They do all their homework on their own, with nary a question for help.

I like the new boyfriend, he is very useful. He has drills in his car and knows how to use them.

They head off to school each day, getting up, on their own, set up their own schedule, one gets up at 5:45a.m. the other at 6a.m. so they can shower, eat breakfast, pack their own lunch, and head out the door between 7 and 7:15 a.m. for their various activities before school. Then they go to school, and participate in after school in activities with their peers, having a positive impact on their school communities.

Sigh,

I guess its not the teenagers I don't like, I guess I don't like the passing of the phase that needs Momma. Or they need me in different ways, like, Mom, can you pick up my shavers, like TODAY! Whatever happened to Dollar Store shavers, like in my day.......

I guess that's why I am enjoying the boy who doesn't sleep (hahahaha) so much.

I am still glad their friends come over. I am glad I get a weekly meal or 2 with them.

But, this was all bound to happen. It is a normal part of growing up. Cutting that proverbial umbilical cord if you will. I just want a little more pleasantness, just a little more adoration of Mom that I used to see in their cute little faces like Daniel's, maybe an occasional hug and kiss that I don't have to beg for? Is this possible?

I could maybe be happy for parents out there who have subservient teens,
but, they don't live at my house that way. They have lots of Moxy. And, yup, I put it there. I spoon fed my kids Moxy. It did not help them sleep any better either.

Sigh,

I will make it, and so will they, those teenager girls of mine.

Love to all friends and parents who teach teenagers, have teenagers, and have lived through the teenager years to come on the other side and tell me it will be better than OKAY.
And yes, I could potentially miss these years!

Blessed in the Nest,
Julie