Pennies from Heaven???

I am in confession mode today. Where is my confessional box so I don't have to look at anyone while doing so? Its right here, its called a blog on the computer. No one looking me in the eye right now but me. And you, if you choose to post a comment.

I am one of these people who keeps looking for the literal "check in the mail". Every day, I go to the mailbox, hoping for money to greet me. I do this. I have often wanted Carl to track down his birth mother, and he says, you know, she is not Welch from Welch's grape juice, and that was my birth father's name, and we KNOW he had nothing.

One day last week while Carl was gone, I was actually praying that money would show up in my mailbox by 2:30p.m. For real. The silver lining of my day was that I WAS on the porch when Bangor Water District showed up to turn off our water for a late $72 bill. Add $25 to that for him just showing up to tell me that. It wasn't that we didn't have the money to pay, the bill had not been added to Carl's monthly billpaying acct, and it was forgotten. The guy said we don't take debit/credit cards either. Oh Boy. I never have cash, and I didn't think I had any checks left. I said, let me go inside. Another confession. Carl had a checkbook in the drawer he wasn't using as it was a closed acct. This greeted me. I thought. I could write this check, buy myself some time until he gets back on Sunday, I can't have this water shut off. No, I did not write the false check. I could not have done that, I don't think. I found my check book, and yippee, had a check left. Wrote out the check for $97 and some change. I had water. And I had other bills coming out of that account before Carl was getting back from PA.

So I sat down and wrote in my gratitude journal

#36.I'm thankful I was sweeping on the porch when the City of Bangor came to shut my water off. Had I not been outside, it would have been shut off. My husband is gone until Sunday, I would have had no water.

No water for a family of 5 is a huge deal.

BUT

I wrote this check for $97. 83. Other bills will bounce if I don't get $100 into my acct. and very soon. Sooner than Monday. Carl had taken his debit card to PA. I don't know how to access the bill paying acct., that's his deal. So I pray. Then I think. Well, I do have some gold jewelry I don't wear. I'll take that to the gold place on stillwater. So I gathered up what I don't wear anymore, and that didn't have extreme sentimental value, and off I went. Elizabeth was home sick and saw my little pile on the table. Mom, thats just so sad. This makes me sad. But, I wasn't sad at all. I was looking at the stuff thinking why did we buy this stuff in the first place?

Why did I put so much value on a show of "things" to prove some significance to a holiday?

Very silly at the moment. Very silly. But, I did have memories associated with some of it. I almost cried for a moment. Sigh. Off I went. Long story short, the guy wanted to give me a grand total of $82! He would round it out to $100 bucks when I said, well, I will NEVER by real jewelry ever again, what a RIP OFF! Yes, I said that. I was like, nah. I just did not feel at peace about it, and the guy was very cocky, kind of jerkish, and I walked away.

I still needed the money. But I did have a $25 ck from Mom for my recent anniversary I was saving. I went to the bank, deciding to go inside. I saw a neighbor there with a jug of pennies. Hey, I have a jug of change I thought. I wonder how much is in there? I rode home and brought the jug in, dumped it into the machine. And just guess how much was in that jug??? $99.88! Yup. I cannot make this up. I had no idea.
But God did.

You know that little verse that talks about asking God for stuff and he tells us He will provide for our needs? We already have what we NEED. HIM. Praying guided my brain & heart & I obeyed. My NEED was met. I had it. It was right in front of me, even already in the house. In the Jug. Collected over a period of time for Florida, but we didn't use it when we went to Florida. MY Jewelry plan, was exactly that, MY PLAN. But I knew, and was listening to that small voice, Is This What YOU want God? It this your best plan for me right now???

There are many many many things to be learned from this lesson and I bet we can all take away something different, depending where we are in our Daily Journey With God. But, this is what I took away:
1. God sees me
2. God hears me
3. God loves me
4. His way, His Will, His purpose is always perfect.
5. When coupled with my listening & obedience, I cannot loose, ever.

I also got the very distinct feeling that God loves me. I know I said that already. (#3) But I had been busy beating myself up. We are so irresponsible. We can't keep anything strait around here. Boy, I bet God is unhappy with me because I used my credit card to buy those hanging plants.(which will be paid, ASAP). This is my "spanking" from God. Either no water or bounced checks or both had I not been on the porch.

BUT

I WAS on the porch. Had the guy come a mere 5 minutes earlier, I would have been upstairs putting Daniel down. I DID have a check to pay with. I DID have the money to put in my acct. via our change jug. And so I return to my gratitude journal.

# 37 Thank you for $99.88 in the change jug.

#1-5 See above.

Will I still be checking my mailbox? Well yes. One can always hope, and good things HAVE come in my mailbox. Ultimately, my trust and faith do not rely on my mailbox or how good I can be or how smart I am or how organized. My Trust and Faith rely on my Creator. The one who loves me, sees me, hears me, and is VERY patient with me.

Thankfully,
Julie