I was one of those kids that when I was failing at a game, the board went into the air, along with all the pieces, cards, and of course, the board. Parcheesi was one of the most frustrating games ever for me. My father would insist on blocking us. My mother would say, Rodney, come on, remove the block, you are frustrating the kids. Nope, he wouldn't. I think he was trying to teach us some frustrating lesson. Whatever. The board went in the air in the midst of that lesson. No more Parcheesi. I actually bought this board game last year at Christmas for the whole family. I don't think we have even cracked it open. Others in this family who will remain nameless have inherited my hate of loosing anything gene. Yes, I would say we are a wee bit competitive around here.
The first year I was married was one of loss. 8 to 10 sets of apartment/car keys to be exact. We could just never find those things. I mean, where exactly did all those keys go? No idea. We did not have a lot of stuff, we lived in a teeny tiny "love nest" as I fondly called it. Carl was the looser of the keys. I could feel the steam just build, the eye rolling, the What On Earth? How could you have lost yet one more set of keys??? Impossible. WE became experts of climbing in through windows in a variety of places we lived. We would leave one certain window unlocked at all times. I dare say either of us would fit through a window anymore.
Board game and keys, yup, those seemed like BIG losses at the time.
Really big. Back in the world of Everything Has Equal Value. Wrong.
Last Monday night I got very honest with my study group. I said I wasn't going to lie anymore. I never saw myself as a liar, per say. Like, if I told you I was going to the grocery store, and didn't go, that's a lie. But there are other ways we lie, and the more we do it, the more we become accustomed to it. I had lied to myself for a bulk of my life about how certain losses did not affect me. Saying they were "no big deal" and they were. All things came crashing down about 3 weeks ago when our family experienced an unexpected loss. A human loss. And I decided to stop lying. I decided to be honest about how the loss affected me with a friend. I started to cry and tried to stop myself, as I did not want to burden her. Oh I am just so damn prideful, like I have to be perfectly happy all the time. She told me to just let it out. And I did. I could not believe how much emotion was stored in one person, how the dam just broke. So many losses came out that I had stuffed. I became so honest, I could not believe it. But, because of my complete confession about the loss & becoming totally honesty, guess what? I am better. I feel better. You can move into healing very rapidly when you are honest. As a result of the unexpected loss that moved me into honesty and healing I wrote this in my gratitude journal:
I listed the greatest losses I have experienced to date, and no, keys & board games did not make the list, but following that list, I decided to list what was a blessing in the loss, blessings that come as a result of loss. And they do exist!
#419 Loss humbles
#420 Loss brings you to prayer for others
#421 Loss brings compassion for others to your soul
#422 Loss of one thing brings/makes room for something else
And you know, the week that followed these entries was so beautiful. Every one of those "benefits" of loss rang true on so many levels for all of us in the Robbins Nest. See the blessing in the loss.
Dream Adjustments.
Change.
Moving Forward.
Healing and Embracing the New.
All good things as a result of loss.
What a month, what a week, What a year. Such a comfort that I know with every loss, there is a benefit, a unseen and unknown blessing that has yet to occur.
I have come to the conclusion, no matter how hard loss can be, there is always a Blessing Just Waiting to Happen.
Much love to you all from this Nest.
Julie, Nest Adviser & Humbled Looser
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