#28...Apology Given, Confessions of a Shit Flipper, yup, I'm being Honest....

I don't usually flip shit. I don't. I used to have a temper that I believe was born out of so many things that were out of my control as a child. I had so many triggers that I didn't even realize what was even triggering me... I know, Psych 101. No one wants to listen to those excuses....

But I did. I had a reaction to something that was said to me. I flipped shit. I was triggered. And a bunch of nasty just poured out. Can ANYONE relate to this? Anyone....?????

I talked to my sister about it. I told her something I had said. She looked at me and said...
"Julie, that's mean. You KNOW that isn't true...AT ALL."
I am glad for someone who loves me and tells me the truth about myself.
She followed it up with "RELAX, honestly. Relax."

Two things about me.
I don't relax often.
I'm a deep feeler.
Meaning, I am either all in or I won't bother at all. There is really no middle road with me.

I think I need to try the middle of the road.

For everyone's sake.

So, yeah, I'm learning.

I'm also learning that as chill as I try to be, I am totally NOT. At All Chill. Ever.

Why was I triggered?  Because I was given a logical reason for something that I was attaching completely illogical emotions to and I did not want to be corrected, redirected, or my mind changed. Sometimes I simply don't want to hear someone else's truth, honestly. Like, Shut The Hell Up and let me live in my Rainbows and Unicorns world for 24 hours please.

I flipped.

I apologized.

I won't do it again, because I value my people, and I value the things I have created, and I love people.

What next?
No more flipping shit.
Go to the ocean to clear my mind.
Or spend time learning to accept where someone is coming from, realizing it doesn't have to change my mind about anything.
I love you.
I have triggers still I need to acknowledge, work on, and let go of.
Apologize when triggered and don't do it again.
Its never about the person in front of me, its about me and my unresolved shit.
Resolve my Shit.

Happy Friday Everyone.
Think before you speak, text, message, breathe, Love.

I love you.
That will Never Change.

Jules.