Don't Listen to Me.....

Recently during one of my relaxation sessions thoughts about what I had listened to over the years, came up.....

I love to soak in a tub, have candles, and relax. Its wonderful.

I will not point fingers, that's not the purpose of this "cleaning out" for me. I will not blame anyone, or curse out anyone in a blog post and I will not overly praise anyone either. My special people already know who they are and don't need my admiration.

Its really hard work, this cleaning thing.

Deciding what goes. I may really love that "couch", or "bedspread", or "wall hanging", but it just can't stay if I am going to make it my "authentically me" room.

And then, there are things that can stay. Things that now resonate in my rooms of thoughts, or doings, or beliefs.

Why am I saying "Don't listen to me" now?

Because, as I go on this journey of mine, I am realizing, I listened to EVERYONE, but myself.
I listened to religion.
I listened to my Mom.
I listened to my Dad.
I listened to my guidance counselor.
I listened to my friends.

I never asked myself what I was thinking.
What did I really want?
What did I really think, minus all the "advice" that I swirled in.
If what I thought did not align with all those well meaning, wisdom filled talkers, I thought I was wrong. I believed that. Julie, you are wrong if you question, don't follow, live differently.

Not True.

I did not listen to myself.

"There is no reward for not listening to your heart."  Jules (me)

I said that to myself this morning.

So,
I want to say to my kids.  (All 3 of them are in this picture.....smile)

Don't listen to me.

I would like to think I've done a decent job encouraging them to follow their hearts, forge their own way, make life look like the journey they want to be on. I'm here, supporting and loving and being proud, and just being here to come to when there is a need, and welcoming them with open arms.

I want to also say to my kids.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if you have ever felt bossed around or controlled.
I'm sorry if I have over stepped your boundaries of what you felt made you feel comfortable.
I'm sorry if you didn't feel accepted or understood or believed.
Because I want you to be free to be yourself. Just be, and listen to your heart. Listen to yourself.
Follow your own dreams. Live life as you see fit.
I will be here, with open arms. Always.

I am learning to listen to myself.
I am learning to open my mind, heart, and being, to new things, that are actually old things and thoughts that have always been there, but were deafened by all those other voices telling me how to live my life.

I love you.

Jules.