The New Girl.

My husband brought this picture home yesterday.  He found it in his classroom while cleaning up extra papers. The frame is was in was heart shaped, which, must have broken.  This picture was taken on my 19th birthday at my Mom's house in Hampden.  Per tradition on birthdays we could have who we wanted for dinner, what we wanted to eat for dinner, and our favorite cake made by my Mom.  I think I chose salmon loaf for the meal and I believe my mother's chocolate cake, which is a favorite around this house that I now make regularly.

I look at this beaming 19 year old and so many thoughts flood my mind.

My husband looked at this picture and said, weren't we only dating like, a month, when this pic was taken? I say yup, and look how familiar and comfortable we were with each other right from the beginning. I almost believe in love at first sight due to one Carl Joseph Robbins.

What would I tell this budding, beaming, already in love with her one and only, barely 19 year old Julie Kristen Erb?

Hmmmmmm.

Some things she would not want to know?
You are going to have 6 pregnancies, 3 won't make it.
Love is not easy.
Marriage is not easy, ever, if you are going to have a good one.
Life takes work.
Your Mom will not always be there to make your favorite meals when you come home from a long hard day of college and work.
Your Mom won't be doing your laundry after you move out.
You will have to learn to cook.  (yikes)
You will be sleeping in a water bed, full motion, with blue satin sheets.... (LOL)
(I don't think your mother would want to know that above statement!)
You will compromise, sometimes for the good, sometimes not. But, in the end, it will all work out beautifully.
You don't know it all.

Some things she would want to know.
Its fun to go to bed at night with the one you love the most.
Its fun to wake up in the morning and shower with the one you love the most.
College is hard, but you make it, and its one of the best decisions you made on your own.
You will meet a mentor, Bill Cumming, who will change your life forever.
You will love your wedding ceremony to said love in this 19 year old picture.
You will have 3 beautiful children named Kristen, Elizabeth, and Daniel.
You will have a baby at age 42.
You will live in Bangor and love your home.
You will change your mind about life 10,000 times, but your core faith will always remain.
You will learn to accept all your choices without any shame attached.
You will learn to forgive yourself and others readily and without reservation.
You will meet 2 young men who love your daughters and you will fall in love with them too.

My first thought when I saw this picture was, that girl is gone forever.
That extremely naive, innocent, trusting, believing in everyone and everything, girl is GONE.

But, that's ok.

The new girl, the 47 year old Julie Robbins is here.

And she, she is simply fabulous. She rolls with life. She still cries easily and feels easily and falls in love with others oh so easily.  But she is different because she understands the true value and worth of every human being, every situation, and her heart is huge. And she accepts her failures and can forgive herself and others. She does not remember every wrong that has been done or said against her. The new girl has such deep friendships that 19 year old Julie Erb only dreamed of having.  The new girl doesn't mind questioning her faith because she knows she belongs to God due to unconditional love not how well she had behaved on any given day. She has been married to said boy in the picture for 26 years and is happy to call him husband. (Even though he made her sleep on slippery blue satin sheets in a full motion water bed.....let that one create an image you will never recover from...LOL).

This new girl, Julie Robbins, is still in the manufacturing  state. She is still discovering and changing and accepting others and herself.

Julie Erb may be gone, but Julie Robbins is here to stay.

She's here to grow and forgive, herself and others.

Have a wonderful day, right where you at, knowing that God is always with each one of us.

Love from the Robbins Nest.

xo, Julie