Apology and Forgiveness

 I'm going to talk about something today very beautiful that happened on September 20th, 2016 that was probably the most kind, caring, loving thing anyone has ever done for me or to me.

A young man came to my house and apologized.

He texted me out of the blue and said, Hey, what are you doing? Can I come and talk to you? Right Now?

My first thought was, oh God, please, I simply cannot take any more bad news. I cannot take any more gossip. I cannot listen to one more thing that will absolutely break my spirit further. I really need something good to happen.

I responded with, YES! I'm home right now.  He was there within minutes.

He was nervous when he came through the door. I hugged him, I think. So, whats up buddy? This was not easy for him. I could tell he was agitated. Ok, Julie, I'm just going to come out and say it..
"I'm sorry."
for what?
"I'm sorry for everything I have said and done to destroy your family. I did not understand the kind of love you had for people. Because I did not understand, I said and told people to do things I wish I had not now. I gave out wrong advice. I gave bad advice. I wish I hadn't. I wish I could take it all back. I'm sorry for anything bad I said against you, or anyone in this house."  and then we sat and talked about things we both thought that was rattling around in our brains about people we had mutual love for, wishing and hoping for things. It was so weird, at one point I said, I almost feel weird saying this, but this, this....this is.......and we said it at the same time! HISTORY in the making. We talked about the future, how to make the world a better place. How to do this by simply loving people. One Of The Best Conversations Ever.

Daniel at one point came out into the kitchen to say hi. I said, Daniel, you remember this guy? Yes, he did, he also knew whose friend he was, when he'd been at the house, etc. That son of mine does not forget people. He loves people, just like he's been taught.
This young man said to Daniel,  "Daniel, you listen to everything your Mom says about love. Now that I am getting it, I realize how much love she has for people. Its good love. Whatever she tells you about love, you listen and do it. She's right. She knows what she is talking about."

We talked some more. I encouraged him on his journey. I hugged him. I told him how proud I was of him. I thought about how much courage it took to come to my house, talk to me, Carl even came home at one point (it was his birthday!) shook his hand,  and left us to talk. I told him I loved him. That he was always welcome here, always. I told him I forgive you. I was honored to be part of his journey.

We love people in this house. We forgive people in this house. We love and forgive people outside of this house. Our love and forgiveness knows NO BOUNDARIES of space or time. I will always always always respond to anyone who comes to me with an apology with love and forgiveness. I was honored that he knew that. Or at least was brave enough to try. He said he had other people he needed to make things right with as well.

I saw he several other times throughout the fall. I hugged him. Told him what a good job he was doing. He said thank you.

The act of making things right is the hardest thing you will ever do. The fear before hand, the agitation, the wondering if your apology will be accepted, how will the person respond, admitting you were wrong. Admitting your role in something that created so much tragedy, but knowing, simply knowing, you had to come to the person and say,  "I'm Sorry, please forgive me. I love you. I acted out of ignorance. Let's make this right."  Will be the absolute most freeing moment you will ever have. For you, and the person.

I would challenge you today. Be Christmas to someone today. Someone needs this from you. You have the ability to heal someone with your words today and pray that they let those words sink in. You could be instrumental in someones healing today. I call that Christmas. I call that Thanksgiving. I call that New Years Eve, all wrapped in one big present called, Apology&Forgiveness&Healing.  Don't let fear of the response hold you back. My most memorable moments are when I have apologized and asked for forgiveness. Of course, being in a 30 year relationship has taught me a thing or two about having to admit wrong doing, begging for forgiveness, (yes, I have literally BEGGED!!!) accepting apologies, and forgiving, moving on, never bringing up wrong doings again. Ever. Gone.

September 20, 2016, sitting at my kitchen table, with this young man will be etched in my mind forever as one of the best days in the year of 2016. I wanted to sob, after he left, I simply thanked God for restoring my faith, even if it was for just and hour or two, in humanity.

I love you

Merry Christmas someone today.

Happy Birthday someone today.

Love on Someone today.

Swallow that damn pride today, and you will feel so WHOLE today.

I love you even if you don't apologize, but if you do? You will never be rejected by us in this house. EVER.

Julie Erb Robbins