Legacy...

These 3 along with their father, is why I breathe. Why I get out of bed each day when I feel as if I can't. Why my heart breaks into a million pieces if any of these 3 hearts get broken. Why I will sacrifice anything, for any of them, just ask. They have been my priority since the moment of their conception. Nothing has ever been more important to me ever than these 3 children. Carl and I look at them with so much love we just want to burst. Which is why our hearts have been burst wide open when harm has come their way, or illness, or disappointment, or discouragement. Its why our hearts burst wide open when we see that sparkle in their happy eyes, when the laugh is genuine, when the success is hard earned and accomplished, when their hearts are full of joy, ours are too. These 3 mean the world to me, to us.

I was in church this morning listening to a sermon pertaining to the Christmas story and one of the thoughts that was brought forth was the concept that Light will never be overcome by darkness. Never. Once you have Jesus, even just a little bit, along with your doubts, along with your mistakes, you will have that light in your life. The darkness will never win over the the light. Never. It may appear to be taking over, but God has the last word.

As I sat there and listened I began to weep. For many reasons, but the reason I will share is that my kids have a light within each of them that will never be destroyed. Never. Carl and I bathed them in Light. We taught them in the Light. We cherished them in the Light. They have attracted people into their lives because of that Light and have introduced these people to the Light. The darkness will Never Win Out over the Light. Never. We have given them each a firm foundation of Love, Trust, Faith, Family, Hope, and a Future. They can extend that to others because they know what it means to be whole because they were raised TO BE WHOLE. TO BE LIGHT from the light that is within them, placed there long ago. We call Light, God. We believe we are here to love, be loved, create a loving home to which all are welcomed and treated as family. That is what we believe, that is what we have taught, that is what we live in the Nest. We have exposed our children to true love, to true light.

Why was I weeping? I wanted to say, so, stop resisting. As Jim was saying. Stop resisting the Light. Why would anyone resist Love? or being Hopeful? or being Welcomed? I wanted to scream, stop resisting what you know to be truth! Accept the Love you have been taught. Accept the unconditional love we have given you and extend it to others. Accept God's timing, accept.

Except, it was me, not my 3, that need to accept Gods Love and Light. I can teach it, give it out to others, talk about it. But what would it look like in my being if I actually accepted it for myself?

Would I worry less? maybe.
Could my faith increase from the size of a mustard seed to perhaps the size of  a watermelon seed? maybe.
Can I listen to God's voice when I'm reminded when I weep, Julie, I got this.

My babies though.
My heartbeats.
What makes me want to live.
Who I would die for, suffer for, be tormented for, if it meant they did not have to suffer.

Trust God? Trust the Light that's in them, Trust the Light that they have extended to others? TRUST???
Trust that all of this life can come down to the verse that God shared with me while siting on a beach at Big Lake this summer when everything was swirling out of control??

"Being confident of this VERY THING.....God, who began a good work, WILL BE FAITHFUL to COMPLETE IT."  1 Phil 1:6.

I didn't start things to leave you hanging, Julie. I know your heart. I know everyone's heart. EVERYONE. I know EVERYTHING. So please, I've got this. I've got this season in life. I've got yesterday, today, and btw, I already know tomorrow. And Its Going to be Miraculous. You just wait and see!....xoxo God.

Thank you Jim Funari. You reminded me today of the Light. The Light that always always always Overcomes Darkness. I just need to hand over the timing, the children, the hurts, the worries, the people. And trust that it all will absolutely work out.

Day 11 almost sunk me for a minute. But here I am, trusting.

Love to you allllllll,

Julie Erb Robbins