What does it mean to be trustworthy? What are the characteristics of someone who IS trustworthy? Can you be trusted again if you fail? Why is being trustworthy important?
Yesterdays movie covered the idea of having faith, perseverance, hope in a miracle, and being brave, in spite of constant and continual discouragement. My husband and I were having a discussion on the need for character and integrity and what a person who had these qualities embodied. My husband referred to it as "having the balls to do the right thing no matter what...anyone can do things when it requires nothing out of you, it takes character and integrity and balls to keep going when things begin to not be easy, or the red carpet isn't rolled out for you or you have to actually put in effort...you got no balls if you put in no effort."
(I almost felt like I was having a "Thayle moment" Jenny!
What does any of that have to do with being trustworthy?
I think back to when I had my first baby. No one could touch Kristen. Except my mother and sister. I was so afraid of germs, other people's skin cells getting on my precious baby. Don't touch my precious baby, you have not been deemed worthy. I remember when she came to her dad and said,"Dad, I want to date. Is that okay?" Carl said, "Yeah, sure." But as a Dad, no one is ever good enough for their baby girl(s). No offense guys, but its general knowledge amongst dads of daughters that any guy lucky enough to enter his house and spend time with his daughters is basically the luckiest shit alive and when you are trusted to be even near their precious girls, you had better have you shit in order or Daddy will not be impressed. My daughters have a father who has always viewed them as the people he has loved most in this world, other than me. He would die for either girl in an instant. He has been known to drive to them any time of night. He has comforted them through out long nights. He has slept on floors for them in hospitals and at home. He has not missed a moment of their lives when possible. He has been their coach, their teacher, their confidant.
How is it we go from "No one can touch my baby, you may get her sick." to
"Yeah, sure, you can date her," (but it doesn't mean I like you or trust you but you can drive away with her in that car, I have no idea where you are going, if your intentions are good, if you are going to hurt her, lie to her, use her, in any way shape or form. I am now trusting you with THE MOST PRECIOUS person I know. Just because she is 17 or 19 or 21....does not change how precious and beautiful and lovely and she is my princess.")
That transitions kills a Dad. It kills a Mom, but in a different fashion.
Trustworthiness is huge with fathers. In our home our children have always been our #1 priority from the moment they were conceived. We crafted our lives around our children. Carl and I had been together almost 9 years before having children, Carl's choice more than mine, he was not in a hurry to take on the responsibility of fatherhood, and he enjoyed it just being us. All of our friends had had children before us, and we had made ourselves available to watch and care for other people kids.
Trustworthy by definition: able to be relied on as honest or truthful. reliable, dependable, honest, honorable, upright, principled, true, truthful, ethical, virtuous, incorruptible, unimpeachable, above suspicion, responsible, sensible, levelheaded, loyal, faithful, staunch, steadfast, trusty, safe, sound, reputable, discreet.
That's a tall order. But, its a tall order when your drive away with one of our daughters. She has been raised well. She has been well loved. She has been taught to love well. She has been taught all about loyalty, commitment, honor others, being an encouragement to others, to have emotions and able to share them with the ones she loves. Carl said to Lucas at their wedding...you are now officially my son and I am your Dad. I love you, welcome to the family. In essence saying... I have trusted you with my jewel. I do trust you with my jewel. Carl has trusted the young men in our home with his girls. That's a tall expectation. That's an honor reserved to those his girls love.
As a person with sons reads this you don't have to worry. We value our boy. Fortunately he has a father who will teach him what is important, what is honorable, how to treat others with respect, love, kindness, and goodness at all times. Carl is an excellent teacher. He is willing to take others under his wing. He has loved the boys in this house too.
He also deserves an apology when trust has been breached. I've apologized when I have breached his trust. His daughters have apologized when they have done wrong. Daniel has gone to his Dad and said he was sorry when he has lied about taking candy, or what ever a 6 year old can actually get in trouble with.
And you know what his response always is?
I Love You.
I forgive you.
Its forgotten.
Carry on children.
Now where were we?
Oh yeah,
back to trusting you again.
and Always, always, always, loving you, no matter what you've been up to, please tell me. I have probably done worse, and yes, your mother knows...
and guess what?
She's always forgiven me too, and loved me always.
Blessed in this Nest.
We love kids in this house.
Birth, adopted, welcomed in as family, and well, everyone.
Our door is always open.
Julie Erb Robbins
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