I love to eat. All the time. All day long. Anything.
I have recently contracted an upset stomach that seems to be causing me some angst. Every time I eat I don't feel well and there would seem to be some ramifications. I thought maybe I was taking too many vitamins. Or, I remembered when I was younger, I always seemed to have an upset stomach and my Mom would say
"What's bothering you?" or "What happened on the bus?" or "What happened at school today?"
I went out to eat tonight with my buddy Valerie for burger night at Governors. Before I went I was feeling okay. Not the greatest, but I wanted to be with my friend, so I went. I suffered a little bit when I got home, ate a peppermint, and I am doing fine right now. Carl thought I may be having an aversion to eating out. Who knows.
But, for someone who has always eaten what ever I have wanted, when ever I wanted, this has been trying because I have never been sick to my stomach so much. It could be nerves, it could be food, it could be a myriad of reasons. No one else in the house has anything wrong with them, just me.
I had crackers and ginger ale the other night for dinner.
I've always loved Olive Garden. It's my favorite restaurant. I have enjoyed the egg plant parm, with soup or salad and bread sticks with that amazing alfredo dipping sauce. Killer breath after eating there though, that is the downside. I hate garlic/onion breath....but for now I don't think I would dare eat there.
I love pizza. We have always eaten pizza once a week. I tried some pizza last week and paid for it all night.
I love the burgers at Governors on Monday nights, so far, so good. Haven't gotten too sick yet...
I love spaghetti with home made meat balls and sauce. Had that last night. Felt sick only for a short time.
I say all this to say I feel as if this is one more way that I am becoming compassionate. I have always been able to eat what I want. I have never had a problem eating. I have never even given a thought to eating. I just do it. This past month, esp the past couple of weeks, have caused me to pay attention to what I am eating and the affects it has on me. I have been one to accommodate all eating choices in my home to make everyone happy so we could all eat together. I was never one who had to be accommodated, ever. I just ate.
I will get to the bottom of this most recent thing, but in the mean time, I am noticing how I feel for those who do have to think before they eat. I am noticing how I could worry about the food, because of the physical reactions I have been getting from eating. Its unnerving to have to pay attention to something you have never had to pay attention to before. It does not feel good to have an upset stomach, yet still have to go about life, go to work, take care of the needs of those around you, go to stores wondering where the bathroom is.
I have gained a whole new empathy and awareness I would never have had.
If we can look at life as the opportunity to learn something new, even in the difficult moments, imagine what that could change in all of us.
Thank you all so much for listening to my stomach ramblings, but, its what is on my mind tonight.
Thank you all for reading and being on this journey with me.
Thank you for caring.
Love you.
Julie Erb Robbins
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