Love People. Miss People. Cried.
Loved this Someone
Very few things have I ever done 100 days in a row. Seriously. Think about it. Brushed my teeth was the absolute FIRST THING that came into my mind as the one thing I can honestly say I do every single day of my life because I hate even drinking coffee in the morning without brushing my teeth.
Brushing My Teeth.
In the broad scheme of life think about what exactly have you ever done for 100 days in a row...ever....
Maybe there is something you would LIKE to do for 100 days in a row....
I took on this writing challenge with the plan to write for 100 days in a row. I have not looked up ideas, I have not followed any sort of script, I have simply written whatever comes into this brain of mine. Scary, huh? I have tried my best to not name any names, but of course, its somewhat obvious whom I love, whom I miss, whom I care deeply for, and whom I wish and pray and hope good thoughts for...
Um...that would be ALL OF YOU> Yup, YOU. You reading right now. You need to know how much I appreciate YOU! I have loved the responses to my writing. I have loved writing. Its also a challenge to write. Writing causes me to look within to what makes me tick, what matters to me, what is important to me. This challenge has done exactly that for me, and I have grown because of it.
I am alone tonight. I have the fan going upstairs because Daniel is in bed asleep and I run the fan most of the time when we are sleeping or during the day, as I really struggle with silence. There are times I walk up my stairs thinking of the voices I used to hear, the laughter, the pounding going up and down the stairs at 7 a.m. each morning. I have tried making a couple of phone calls, but its 8 p.m. at night and no one wants to talk on the phone at 8 p.m. at night. My doctor asked me today how I am liking it being us three...it must be less stressful...I said, "Yeah, I guess so. My girls are so independent, I might hear from the once a week, but its on their terms. I don't chase down my kids. They let me know if they need anything, or need to chat. Its on their terms. They are adults. They take care of themselves. I know this is good, but I miss everyone being all together." She looked at me quizzically. Like, trying to figure out why I was missing people. Its your time to relax now, Julie. oh yeah, relax...you mean be bored...LOL... I'm unentertained by my own company....
I love the people who say "Happiness comes from within.." Nope, not for me. I love my people. They are my happiness. Feel free to correct me all you want. I am happier when my husband is around. I am happier when my kids are joyful. When I sit at my table with all my special people and we are all eating together, my heart is brimming with happiness. When I can be with my friends and we can cry, talk, laugh, giggle, joke, I am my happiest. People make me happy. Being alone sucks, for me. I love to be held. I loved to be close. I love just having Carl in the room next to me. I don't need him talking to me in big, lengthy, drawn out conversations...btw...he doesn't like those anyways, I save those for my bffs.
So, there you have it.
I can add to my "Done it 100 days in a row" list.
Have Feelings...
I've Loved People, Being with people, Looking into the eyes of people. Giving myself away to people.
Every day...100 days and beyond.
I love you all. I am so glad you are in my life. I am glad you have been in my life. I am richer for it.
Thank you for being here and being part of what makes my heart happy.
Blessed. Loved. Happy.
Julie Erb Robbins
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