Hey Mom, there's something I want to tell you.. Day 57 of 100.

My son is the reason I began blogging in the first place. I was 42 years old when I gave birth to this wonderful person. He was born on June 30, 2010. I knew he was a boy. I knew I wanted to name him Daniel. He was my 6th pregnancy, and my absolute final attempt. FINAL. I remember being asked

"Was this planned?"
"Do all your kids have the same father?"
"Didn't you guys figure out how it is you get pregnant?"
"You were almost home free...."
"Wow. Just Wow. Better you than me..."
"Is this your second marriage baby?"

I'm thinking I've always had boundary issues with people...These things were all said to me, more than once. Thankfully,the people I worked with at Downeast School were wonderful to me. All my teacher friends would say to me, "Oh to get to do it all over again...how awesome. And now you have nothing to worry about...been there, done that..."  They all congratulated my decision to leave work and be home with Daniel. A lot of them either waited to teach, or said, oh, if I could do it over I would take that time with my kids. They grow up so fast. I love my teacher peeps.

Nothing to worry about....been there...done that.....

"Mom, I have something to tell you...." this sweet son of mine whispered in my ear.."I like a girl. Her name is Anna..."

We were all curled up together in Daniel's bed. Actually 2 twin beds put together to make a king sized mattress in his room. Its wonderful. He was doing his morning cuddle and decided he simply must tell his Mom.  "Don't tell Dad....I just wanted you to know..."

When we came in from the park after school he was looking at the classroom picture I had hung up on the fridge. He said.  "Mom, there's Anna."
Oh, that's a nice picture of your class Daniel.
"Mom. I like Anna."
oh, whys that?
"She's pretty, Mom."
anything else?
"She has dark hair."
oh.
"And she's funny. She makes me laugh. And she's fun. Very fun. And She asked Me if I liked her, and I said yes, and we hugged on the rug in the classroom at school. And then we went back to doing centers together in our classroom."

I. Have.Nothing. To.Worry.About....Been there, done this...oh yes I have...UGH, but not until high school.

First grade? Well. I remember last year when I would walk him in there was this sweet little girl named Ella that would wait for Daniel. She would grab his hand, and she told me one day, Oh, I just love Daniel. He's my friend, I always hold his hand in the morning...and off they went. I thought it was just the sweetest.

"Mom, I like Anna...."

I love that my son tells me. I told him today, earlier, when he woke me up and he was hugging me.
Son, I want you to know. You can always tell me anything. I will want to know. No matter what it is. I will not get mad at you. I will love you always. Just be honest with me. I want you to know I will always love you. All the time, no matter what. You are my boy. I love you, I support you.

And what do you know....he tells me about Anna.

The relationships I have fostered with my kids are not perfect by any means. But, I have done my best to love them always. I have supported their decisions. I honor their choices. I love who they love. Always. No questions asked. I admire these three people. I pray for them. I pray for whom they bring home. I have entrusted them to God, because God loves them way more than me. I was gifted with these three and all that I have been blessed with because of these three.

I always want them to know I'm here. The door is Always OPEN. Agreeing has never been a precursor to accepting or loving. I always love. I always accept. I have done my best to be there for my children, and others.

But this boy.....he's getting the beyond chill Mom. She knows what to expect?? Maybe??? We shall see.

I love you all.
Blessed in the Nest.
I'm praying, hoping, trusting, loving.
Every. Single. Day.

Julie Erb Robbins